A real fair trade: arrest Bush, collect one way ticket back to the Upper West Side -furnished apartment and organic vegan goodies gratis. That way, the state of Vermont can finally purge itself of its faux-radicals and wannabe revolutionaries and return to its former state, free of nanny state busybodies slapping "No War for Oil" on their $60k Beemers and considering non-white persons who dare step into their co-operative automatic shoplifters.
Besides, these twits don't realize that habeas corpus works both ways. It would be very much illegal to arrest someone if they didn't commit a crime - and being pissed because the President didn't visit your state isn't that much of a criminal offense. Consider it a complement he didn't bring tanks and troops in.
12/22/2007
Herd mentality on the MBTA
I sometimes work on Saturdays for three reasons. One, because there's no dearth of work, two, it's paid OT, and three, the MBTA operates at a much better rate than during the week. Where it's Christmas Week and school vacation week, however, the MBTA will be a lot less crowded, and I'll likely get to work somewhat earlier.
Tonight, however, I decided to make a trek to Anna's Taqueria in Central Square after work. Unbelievable burritos, and the generous amount of chips for 95 cents are well worth the journey. I also noticed that there's a Qdoba across the way; they're good too, especially for a chain restaurant, but Anna's Taqueria is worth the $7 I spent on dinner.
I took the Route 87 bus from behind Porter to Lechmere. Except for a small bottleneck in Union Square in Somerville, I got to Lechmere in pretty good time.
Then the fun started. (I plan on using heavy amounts of adult language here, so if you have young children reading this blog, be prepared to explain a lot. You also have permission to print this out and apply Wite-out to the naughty bits; otherwise, your sweet little child will repeat these words, likely to your pastor or Sunday School teacher.)
First, the white trash see-you-next-Tuesday who "threatened to smash the fucking fare gates" because her card wouldn't go through. My resolution: don't ride the train with that ultra-bitch and her boyfriend, because likely her criminal record rivaled the first ten chapters of War and Peace. This is a good time to stand way over to the side because I would like to keep certain body parts intact.
The larger problem was that the MBTA was quite a lot short on cars, and thanks to the proximity of the Cambridgeside Galleria, too many last-minute shoppers filling up the platforms. Unlike the weekdays, Green Line cars run double. Thanks to what I would call a nasty case of clusterfuck and upper managerial horseshit, there were no double cars, only single cars. No wonder the poor inspector at Lechmere was having constant conniptions and shitfits
because someone in the Green Line upper echelon figured, yeah, it's the end of the shopping season, everyone will be taking the T, we don't need those extra trains! Single cars will be more than enough!
Not only were single cars not enough, they were often overcrowded. No matter what car came forward, it was filled to capacity within seconds. And, like flies to a steaming pile of horseshit, whenever an empty car came forward, the sea of humanity followed, hoping to lay its maggot egg-like asses onto a seat. So after twenty minutes of watching the sea of idiocy try to hedge their bets on which car will get them out of this narrow platform, I figured it would be a good idea to seek out the Kendall/MIT shuttle.
Only one problem. My watch said 7:11. The last shuttle out was 6:20. Foiled - making me an idiot too for not reading the goddamn schedule.
After trying to get through the Cambridgeside Galleria, I stopped by the newsstand centered in the middle of the food court to buy lottery tickets. It was a good thing I had eaten beforehand, because the place was packed solid, and I see first hand why some people abhor Christmas and would like it banned: thanks to the psychology that commercialism and marketing offers, we turn from nice, civil people to animals without a shred of fucking courtesy or decorum. It was evident at the food court, the mall, and at Lechmere Station - the lure of deep bargains and the encouragement to empty wallets lower our defenses and our civility, and acting like some dominatrix who controls the horizontal, vertical and contrast. Outside of the city wouldn't have been better.
I finally left Cambridgeside and returned to Lechmere, which looked as if it were calming down. Nope - same large crowd, same harried inspector, same single-car trains. This time, I didn't wait too long; ten minutes and I was headed to North Station; single car, but nowhere nearly as crowded. When I arrived at North Station, the Orange Line train was coming into the station. Maximum waiting time: 90 seconds. Time at the station: 7:35pm. I was laughing out loud as I got to the train; a conversation between a group of African American girls revolved around a girl "wearing stockings."
Then I got to Forest Hills station and decided to take the Route 40/50. Normally, this would be a sleepy route, but that herd mentality of HOLY SHIT! IT'S THE LAST BUS OF THE FUCKING APOCALYPSE! GET ON THE FIRST GODDAMN BUS YOU SEE OR YOU'LL BE LEFT BEHIND TO DIE! reared its ugly head again, as the bus was packed solid. The good/bad thing is that between Roslindale Square and Forest Hills, NINE buses ply Washington Street. (Routes 30, 34, 34E, 35, 36, 37, 40, 50, 51, in case you're curious.) Most of the passengers too impatient/lazy/stupid to wait emptied out around Roslindale Square, with a few more at the Beech St projects. By the time the bus left Georgetowne and entered Cleary Square, the bus was empty. The driver stopped for some slices of pizza and returned to Forest Hills.
The herd mentality is a dangerous mentality, especially when your bus/train doesn't show up for twenty to thirty minutes. The busiest routes are the most notorious for bottlenecks. For example, Route 71 and 73 trackless trolleys run on Mount Auburn St, and if there's an accident at the Fresh Pond Parkway/Memorial Drive split, trolleys bunch up and delay, and in addition to arriving at Harvard late, it has to circle the Cambridge Common before returning to Waverley or Watertown. Also, Route 71 and Route 73 ply the same route between Harvard and the Belmont St/Watertown line, and both buses serve Mount Auburn Hospital. (What the T should do is introduce two diesel routes, e.g. Route 61 and Route 63, that run limited within that area and offer more seating and standing. At the Mt. Auburn Bridge, they can run their regular routes.)
No matter - if it's that late, riders who are legitimately late, or just like the thrill of pushing forward to display their selfish "me first" attitude, or fear that they'll be left out or left behind, rush right to any available bus and try to pile on. The opposite happens on Route 71 headed inbound from Watertown Square to Harvard. Maybe it's the residents or the suburban patina, but even when it gets crowded and packed, the herd mentality is nowhere near as bad. You'll have your odd person blocking the back door or running for the bus (to which the herd pleads with the bus driver to stop; some drivers have emptied entire buses because they would rather be on time or make up time than listen to a Greek chorus)
The first time there's an accident or a huge fight because of a delayed bus or train, no one will admit it's because they're too impatient to wait for a less crowded train, too lazy to take an earlier or later train, or too stupid to plan ahead or seek alternate routes.
Tonight, however, I decided to make a trek to Anna's Taqueria in Central Square after work. Unbelievable burritos, and the generous amount of chips for 95 cents are well worth the journey. I also noticed that there's a Qdoba across the way; they're good too, especially for a chain restaurant, but Anna's Taqueria is worth the $7 I spent on dinner.
I took the Route 87 bus from behind Porter to Lechmere. Except for a small bottleneck in Union Square in Somerville, I got to Lechmere in pretty good time.
Then the fun started. (I plan on using heavy amounts of adult language here, so if you have young children reading this blog, be prepared to explain a lot. You also have permission to print this out and apply Wite-out to the naughty bits; otherwise, your sweet little child will repeat these words, likely to your pastor or Sunday School teacher.)
First, the white trash see-you-next-Tuesday who "threatened to smash the fucking fare gates" because her card wouldn't go through. My resolution: don't ride the train with that ultra-bitch and her boyfriend, because likely her criminal record rivaled the first ten chapters of War and Peace. This is a good time to stand way over to the side because I would like to keep certain body parts intact.
The larger problem was that the MBTA was quite a lot short on cars, and thanks to the proximity of the Cambridgeside Galleria, too many last-minute shoppers filling up the platforms. Unlike the weekdays, Green Line cars run double. Thanks to what I would call a nasty case of clusterfuck and upper managerial horseshit, there were no double cars, only single cars. No wonder the poor inspector at Lechmere was having constant conniptions and shitfits
because someone in the Green Line upper echelon figured, yeah, it's the end of the shopping season, everyone will be taking the T, we don't need those extra trains! Single cars will be more than enough!
Not only were single cars not enough, they were often overcrowded. No matter what car came forward, it was filled to capacity within seconds. And, like flies to a steaming pile of horseshit, whenever an empty car came forward, the sea of humanity followed, hoping to lay its maggot egg-like asses onto a seat. So after twenty minutes of watching the sea of idiocy try to hedge their bets on which car will get them out of this narrow platform, I figured it would be a good idea to seek out the Kendall/MIT shuttle.
Only one problem. My watch said 7:11. The last shuttle out was 6:20. Foiled - making me an idiot too for not reading the goddamn schedule.
After trying to get through the Cambridgeside Galleria, I stopped by the newsstand centered in the middle of the food court to buy lottery tickets. It was a good thing I had eaten beforehand, because the place was packed solid, and I see first hand why some people abhor Christmas and would like it banned: thanks to the psychology that commercialism and marketing offers, we turn from nice, civil people to animals without a shred of fucking courtesy or decorum. It was evident at the food court, the mall, and at Lechmere Station - the lure of deep bargains and the encouragement to empty wallets lower our defenses and our civility, and acting like some dominatrix who controls the horizontal, vertical and contrast. Outside of the city wouldn't have been better.
I finally left Cambridgeside and returned to Lechmere, which looked as if it were calming down. Nope - same large crowd, same harried inspector, same single-car trains. This time, I didn't wait too long; ten minutes and I was headed to North Station; single car, but nowhere nearly as crowded. When I arrived at North Station, the Orange Line train was coming into the station. Maximum waiting time: 90 seconds. Time at the station: 7:35pm. I was laughing out loud as I got to the train; a conversation between a group of African American girls revolved around a girl "wearing stockings."
Then I got to Forest Hills station and decided to take the Route 40/50. Normally, this would be a sleepy route, but that herd mentality of HOLY SHIT! IT'S THE LAST BUS OF THE FUCKING APOCALYPSE! GET ON THE FIRST GODDAMN BUS YOU SEE OR YOU'LL BE LEFT BEHIND TO DIE! reared its ugly head again, as the bus was packed solid. The good/bad thing is that between Roslindale Square and Forest Hills, NINE buses ply Washington Street. (Routes 30, 34, 34E, 35, 36, 37, 40, 50, 51, in case you're curious.) Most of the passengers too impatient/lazy/stupid to wait emptied out around Roslindale Square, with a few more at the Beech St projects. By the time the bus left Georgetowne and entered Cleary Square, the bus was empty. The driver stopped for some slices of pizza and returned to Forest Hills.
The herd mentality is a dangerous mentality, especially when your bus/train doesn't show up for twenty to thirty minutes. The busiest routes are the most notorious for bottlenecks. For example, Route 71 and 73 trackless trolleys run on Mount Auburn St, and if there's an accident at the Fresh Pond Parkway/Memorial Drive split, trolleys bunch up and delay, and in addition to arriving at Harvard late, it has to circle the Cambridge Common before returning to Waverley or Watertown. Also, Route 71 and Route 73 ply the same route between Harvard and the Belmont St/Watertown line, and both buses serve Mount Auburn Hospital. (What the T should do is introduce two diesel routes, e.g. Route 61 and Route 63, that run limited within that area and offer more seating and standing. At the Mt. Auburn Bridge, they can run their regular routes.)
No matter - if it's that late, riders who are legitimately late, or just like the thrill of pushing forward to display their selfish "me first" attitude, or fear that they'll be left out or left behind, rush right to any available bus and try to pile on. The opposite happens on Route 71 headed inbound from Watertown Square to Harvard. Maybe it's the residents or the suburban patina, but even when it gets crowded and packed, the herd mentality is nowhere near as bad. You'll have your odd person blocking the back door or running for the bus (to which the herd pleads with the bus driver to stop; some drivers have emptied entire buses because they would rather be on time or make up time than listen to a Greek chorus)
The first time there's an accident or a huge fight because of a delayed bus or train, no one will admit it's because they're too impatient to wait for a less crowded train, too lazy to take an earlier or later train, or too stupid to plan ahead or seek alternate routes.
12/21/2007
For those who have lost, no greater joy is that what has been gained
I want to write a positive, heartwarming story about loss during the Christmas season, and how time will heal, but not cure, a broken heart.
Once upon a time, a man was feeding the birds in a local park. He had been widowed for the past twenty-two years, with his beloved wife of thirty-one years passing away from cancer. But instead of mourning, every year on the anniversary of her death, he took his grown children on unforgettable travel adventure. One year, it was a one-month tour of the British Isles. Another, a sun-drenched three-week cruise through the Carribean. And for the fifieth anniversary, the father and children traveled across Russia, from Moscow to the cold, harsh steppes of the Siberian forests.
Christmases were also feasts that defied description. Not only did he invite the family, he invited the neighbors. The grown children also received checks for vast sums, some of which were invested to generate even more wealth through wise investments. He made sure Christmas was a celebration, not a time to weep or mourn.
That didn't mean he never mourned at all. Quite the contrary - each day on the hour of his wife's death, he would light four candles and pray silently. One candle, a black candle, symbolized loss, in this case his wife. Another candle, a blue candle, symbolized his wife's favorite color. A pink color represented hope in desperate times. When he lit the final candle, a white candle that symbolized her new home in Heaven, only then would he allow himself to weep and shudder over that loss. Even on his trips and during Christmas, he would find a quiet spot and light the candles.
While he was feeding the birds, a woman approached him. "I see the birds are having quite a feast, like the ones you give the neighborhood." The man was shocked - how did she know about him? Then the woman said, "Your wife is quite pleased that you've carried on with your life, yet you spend time honoring her without fail. Do you know that your wife knows the sex of your grandchildren, and the time your son will be promoted?"
The man recoiled in horror. "You've got to be kidding!" The woman smiled and said, "Meet me back in a year's time."
Sure enough, not only did his daughter have twin boys, but his oldest son was promoted after years of struggling at his job. The woman returned, and the man, humbled by the prediction, finally realized who the woman really was.
"I suppose she knows the exact day I'll rejoin her."
"The next time you'll see me, I'll tell you the exact hour."
This didn't happen for at least ten years. By then, he became more and more frail, using crutches and soon, a walker. Even when his grandsons pushed him in a wheelchair to feed the pigeons, the life and sparkle in his eyes never left.
The next year, he was bedridden, too tired and frail to feed the pigeons. He shut his eyes, and the woman that he met at the park bench appeared. She wasn't dressed in a business suit like she usually was - and accompanying her was his beloved wife. The woman then said, "Now it's time." His wife gently took him by the arm, and with a quick breath, he passed from the mortal to the eternal.
Something different happened at his funeral, though. It was such a simple, understated affair compared to the adventures and parties he led. Each of his grandchildren carried a large candle to the altar - the same black, blue, pink, and yellow that the man lit at the hour of his wife's death. The youngest grandchild carried a fifth candle, which was multi-colored. It was fitting that a candle colored like this represented him the best, and per his orders, his sons and daughters wore colorful clothing and pastels; and that on the same hour of his death, the children light the five candles; and that on every year of his death, they embark on vacations and vacations that they can live that ultimate fantasy.
Dedicated to the memory of Bernard C. Colby
Once upon a time, a man was feeding the birds in a local park. He had been widowed for the past twenty-two years, with his beloved wife of thirty-one years passing away from cancer. But instead of mourning, every year on the anniversary of her death, he took his grown children on unforgettable travel adventure. One year, it was a one-month tour of the British Isles. Another, a sun-drenched three-week cruise through the Carribean. And for the fifieth anniversary, the father and children traveled across Russia, from Moscow to the cold, harsh steppes of the Siberian forests.
Christmases were also feasts that defied description. Not only did he invite the family, he invited the neighbors. The grown children also received checks for vast sums, some of which were invested to generate even more wealth through wise investments. He made sure Christmas was a celebration, not a time to weep or mourn.
That didn't mean he never mourned at all. Quite the contrary - each day on the hour of his wife's death, he would light four candles and pray silently. One candle, a black candle, symbolized loss, in this case his wife. Another candle, a blue candle, symbolized his wife's favorite color. A pink color represented hope in desperate times. When he lit the final candle, a white candle that symbolized her new home in Heaven, only then would he allow himself to weep and shudder over that loss. Even on his trips and during Christmas, he would find a quiet spot and light the candles.
While he was feeding the birds, a woman approached him. "I see the birds are having quite a feast, like the ones you give the neighborhood." The man was shocked - how did she know about him? Then the woman said, "Your wife is quite pleased that you've carried on with your life, yet you spend time honoring her without fail. Do you know that your wife knows the sex of your grandchildren, and the time your son will be promoted?"
The man recoiled in horror. "You've got to be kidding!" The woman smiled and said, "Meet me back in a year's time."
Sure enough, not only did his daughter have twin boys, but his oldest son was promoted after years of struggling at his job. The woman returned, and the man, humbled by the prediction, finally realized who the woman really was.
"I suppose she knows the exact day I'll rejoin her."
"The next time you'll see me, I'll tell you the exact hour."
This didn't happen for at least ten years. By then, he became more and more frail, using crutches and soon, a walker. Even when his grandsons pushed him in a wheelchair to feed the pigeons, the life and sparkle in his eyes never left.
The next year, he was bedridden, too tired and frail to feed the pigeons. He shut his eyes, and the woman that he met at the park bench appeared. She wasn't dressed in a business suit like she usually was - and accompanying her was his beloved wife. The woman then said, "Now it's time." His wife gently took him by the arm, and with a quick breath, he passed from the mortal to the eternal.
Something different happened at his funeral, though. It was such a simple, understated affair compared to the adventures and parties he led. Each of his grandchildren carried a large candle to the altar - the same black, blue, pink, and yellow that the man lit at the hour of his wife's death. The youngest grandchild carried a fifth candle, which was multi-colored. It was fitting that a candle colored like this represented him the best, and per his orders, his sons and daughters wore colorful clothing and pastels; and that on the same hour of his death, the children light the five candles; and that on every year of his death, they embark on vacations and vacations that they can live that ultimate fantasy.
Dedicated to the memory of Bernard C. Colby
12/15/2007
Tales of a graduate school dropout (no regrets)
I never open up this part of my life to just anyone, because some things I don't like to retell. The funny thing about it is that with time, you look at what you did with a bit of amusement, something like, "man, that was really dumb, but funny!"
I would consider dropping out the first semester of graduate school similar to not answering the $64,000 ($50,000 in the daytime half-hour version) question on Who Wants to be a Millionaire? You don't lose much money, but sometimes losing higher up in the game sets you up for a huge fall. You don't want to go back to $32,000 ($25,000 daytime) if you muff the $500,000 question...so sometimes you give up for your own good and to protect what self-respect you do have.
Let me begin my story in 1994, after I had graduated from the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth. I was well on my way to a fulfulling graduate career at the University of New Hampshire, where it would finally lead to a PhD in Mathematics Education ca. 1999-2000. My brother was already at St Anselm's college in Goffstown, so why not have two New Hampshire graduates?
Strike One came when my mother would have preferred me to stay in Massachusetts, or at least around the Boston area. Since UMass Dartmouth didn't have a graduate program, and I had already received a "thanks, but no thanks" from Boston University, I thought UNH would be a good fit. It wasn't. UNH was very, very expensive, and I can understand why my mother was displeased for being there; for an entire year, non-resident, it was $20,000. If I became a New Hampshire resident for a year, my tuition would go down to around $8500 or so. Not a good deal at all.
Strike Two was a corollary of Strike One. The UNH Financial offices were, to put it generously, hounded me for weeks for missing paperwork and payments. The second day full day I got moved in, I got a notice that I was to pay $209 in some kind of fee, or else they
would continue hounding me. Opening my mailbox was an exercise in terror sometimes, as I never knew I would be getting a card or a care package, or a UNH notice asking where my payment or paperwork was.
Strike Three came when my own graduate work suffered at the hands of Strike 2. In graduate school, you are to maintain a minimum B average, or else you go on academic probation, or get dismissed from the University. I had already taken a three course workload, but one particular professor (whose name I'm withholding because he's actually a good and well-respected professor) told me, without hesitation, "I can only hope you do better to make up for the poor effort this semester." That was it, and I was devastated. A week later, I filled out my papers to withdraw from UNH and handed them into the Admissions office. My final day at UNH ended appropriately on a snowy December day in 1994, giving my dead graduate and PhD career a proper burial.
(I also heard rumors that further along the path, you had to submit and pass an oral examination. If you didn't, your graduate career was finished, and you were escorted off the UNH campus. I knew with the two C's I had received at UNH, and one class I had withdrawn from was also a C, so the chance of getting a notice from UNH not to bother returning, or being put on immediate academic probation, was good enough reason to give up the ghost.)
Now we come to the present day, thirteen years later. My final payment to the loan company for this one-semester disaster will be paid off in full. I consider the thirteen years of $100 per month payments penance for making the wrong decision, similar to the young teenage girl who gets pregnant after a quick fling with her boyfriend or the Big Man On Campus, and then must endure nine months of pregnancy plus eighteen years living with the results. Some succeed and raise wonderful children, but others do not. To them, a screaming three year old child is enough to smack them into silence, scream in their faces, or neglect them completely.
Do I consider my actions selfish and capricious? Yes. As Willy Wonka said to Charlie Bucket and Grampa Joe in the original 1970 film, "perhaps they (the bad kids who got their poetic justice) will be wiser for the wear" as they were leaving; but not before getting a dose of anger from stealing Fizzy Lifting drinks. Charlie summoned his own honesty and returned the Everlasting Gobstopper to Wonka, who said "so shines a good deed in a weary, weary world." Wonka knew that Charlie was being honest all along.
My return of the Everlasting Gobstopper to Wonka is to say yes, I'm a graduate school dropout. To this day I have zero regrets leaving UNH, and furthermore, I have no regrets not going back to finish my PhD or Masters. I may go back and get an undergraduate degree in Music, but not until I actually save the money and find a good program.
I would consider dropping out the first semester of graduate school similar to not answering the $64,000 ($50,000 in the daytime half-hour version) question on Who Wants to be a Millionaire? You don't lose much money, but sometimes losing higher up in the game sets you up for a huge fall. You don't want to go back to $32,000 ($25,000 daytime) if you muff the $500,000 question...so sometimes you give up for your own good and to protect what self-respect you do have.
Let me begin my story in 1994, after I had graduated from the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth. I was well on my way to a fulfulling graduate career at the University of New Hampshire, where it would finally lead to a PhD in Mathematics Education ca. 1999-2000. My brother was already at St Anselm's college in Goffstown, so why not have two New Hampshire graduates?
Strike One came when my mother would have preferred me to stay in Massachusetts, or at least around the Boston area. Since UMass Dartmouth didn't have a graduate program, and I had already received a "thanks, but no thanks" from Boston University, I thought UNH would be a good fit. It wasn't. UNH was very, very expensive, and I can understand why my mother was displeased for being there; for an entire year, non-resident, it was $20,000. If I became a New Hampshire resident for a year, my tuition would go down to around $8500 or so. Not a good deal at all.
Strike Two was a corollary of Strike One. The UNH Financial offices were, to put it generously, hounded me for weeks for missing paperwork and payments. The second day full day I got moved in, I got a notice that I was to pay $209 in some kind of fee, or else they
would continue hounding me. Opening my mailbox was an exercise in terror sometimes, as I never knew I would be getting a card or a care package, or a UNH notice asking where my payment or paperwork was.
Strike Three came when my own graduate work suffered at the hands of Strike 2. In graduate school, you are to maintain a minimum B average, or else you go on academic probation, or get dismissed from the University. I had already taken a three course workload, but one particular professor (whose name I'm withholding because he's actually a good and well-respected professor) told me, without hesitation, "I can only hope you do better to make up for the poor effort this semester." That was it, and I was devastated. A week later, I filled out my papers to withdraw from UNH and handed them into the Admissions office. My final day at UNH ended appropriately on a snowy December day in 1994, giving my dead graduate and PhD career a proper burial.
(I also heard rumors that further along the path, you had to submit and pass an oral examination. If you didn't, your graduate career was finished, and you were escorted off the UNH campus. I knew with the two C's I had received at UNH, and one class I had withdrawn from was also a C, so the chance of getting a notice from UNH not to bother returning, or being put on immediate academic probation, was good enough reason to give up the ghost.)
Now we come to the present day, thirteen years later. My final payment to the loan company for this one-semester disaster will be paid off in full. I consider the thirteen years of $100 per month payments penance for making the wrong decision, similar to the young teenage girl who gets pregnant after a quick fling with her boyfriend or the Big Man On Campus, and then must endure nine months of pregnancy plus eighteen years living with the results. Some succeed and raise wonderful children, but others do not. To them, a screaming three year old child is enough to smack them into silence, scream in their faces, or neglect them completely.
Do I consider my actions selfish and capricious? Yes. As Willy Wonka said to Charlie Bucket and Grampa Joe in the original 1970 film, "perhaps they (the bad kids who got their poetic justice) will be wiser for the wear" as they were leaving; but not before getting a dose of anger from stealing Fizzy Lifting drinks. Charlie summoned his own honesty and returned the Everlasting Gobstopper to Wonka, who said "so shines a good deed in a weary, weary world." Wonka knew that Charlie was being honest all along.
My return of the Everlasting Gobstopper to Wonka is to say yes, I'm a graduate school dropout. To this day I have zero regrets leaving UNH, and furthermore, I have no regrets not going back to finish my PhD or Masters. I may go back and get an undergraduate degree in Music, but not until I actually save the money and find a good program.
12/05/2007
Note to self: latkes, blintzes and potato knish at the Carnegie Deli
Hanukkah is this week and the only time I had latkes was in college; in fact, the first Sunday in September when we moved the freshmen into the dorms. Those latkes were great, although they didn't offer us sour cream and applesauce.
Margalit from What Was I Thinking? is celebrating Hanukkah with those delectable latkes...so that reminds me...the next time I head down to Carnegie Deli in New York, I would imagine those latkes will probably be triple, even quadruple, the size of regular latkes. The blintzes could be the size of giant burritos, and I almost always get the huge potato knishes that are a mountain of mashed potatoes with lots of spices, wrapped around in a doughy crust a la Beef Wellington...
Margalit from What Was I Thinking? is celebrating Hanukkah with those delectable latkes...so that reminds me...the next time I head down to Carnegie Deli in New York, I would imagine those latkes will probably be triple, even quadruple, the size of regular latkes. The blintzes could be the size of giant burritos, and I almost always get the huge potato knishes that are a mountain of mashed potatoes with lots of spices, wrapped around in a doughy crust a la Beef Wellington...
11/28/2007
Publicity the Lottery doesn't need, especially in its time of low sales
You have to play...unless you're a criminal.
Then, even if you've been a model citizen in prison and got out with good behavior, spent a little time at the local funny farm to straighten out the demons, and have the fortune to win $1 million, previous records don't lie - we have to declare your win null and void.
MSL's new slogan: You Have To Play - Clean Criminal Records Only!
Then, even if you've been a model citizen in prison and got out with good behavior, spent a little time at the local funny farm to straighten out the demons, and have the fortune to win $1 million, previous records don't lie - we have to declare your win null and void.
MSL's new slogan: You Have To Play - Clean Criminal Records Only!
11/25/2007
Cleary Squared, Dorchester, MA 02136?
Cleary Square, believe it or not, was actually part of Dorchester.
Hyde Park itself was carved out of parts of West Roxbury, Dorchester, Milton and Dedham. According to this map, the town of Hyde Park didn't exist until 1888, and in 1912, it was annexed to the City of Boston.
I have an idea on what parts of Hyde Park came from where...and it looks like the Neponset River was considered the border between Dorchester, Milton and Dedham
Readville: Dedham's contribution was likely from the current Boston/Dedham line at Sprague Street, West Milton Street, and River Street, and formed an island of sorts between Neponset Valley Parkway and River Street. Milton's contribution was from Paul's Bridge east to the present Wolcott Square, and then to the Dedham Line. Had these borders not been changed, Readville could have also been called West Milton.
Cleary Square: Dorchester contributed all of its land from Fairmount Avenue down to near Turtle Pond Parkway, near Kelly Field.
Hyde Park west of Cleary Square: Dorchester and West Roxbury ceded new land to Hyde Park as follows: Dorchester gave up land from around Metropolitan Avenue east of the railroad tracks, Huntington Avenue east of Clare Avenue, and West Street past River St and all the way past the George Wright Golf Course on West Street (where West St changes to Poplar St). West Roxbury contributed everything from Bald Knob Road (now Enneking Parkway) east to Cleary Square, up to and including Gordon Avenue, Georgetowne, and Turtle Pond Parkway west of River St.
Hyde Park east of Cleary Square: Milton gave up almost all of its Brush Hill section east of Fairmount Avenue and north of Beacon St to Hyde Park. Truman Highway, formerly called Water Street, straddles the Neponset for almost its entire length, and ends about 1/4 mile east of Paul's Bridge. Technically, it crosses the Milton line right before the T intersection at Neponset Valley Parkway.
It is also likely that Metropolitan Avenue, currently divided into three seperate sections, formed the basis at least three sections of Hyde Park. 1-440 Metropolitan Avenue is within Roslindale (a part of West Roxbury); 450-800 Metropolitan Avenue is in Hyde Park (formerly part of Dorchester), and after crossing the river, 801-1000 Metropolitan Avenue is in the former Milton section and is bisected by Beacon St. Hence, the name Metropolitan.
Hyde Park itself was carved out of parts of West Roxbury, Dorchester, Milton and Dedham. According to this map, the town of Hyde Park didn't exist until 1888, and in 1912, it was annexed to the City of Boston.
I have an idea on what parts of Hyde Park came from where...and it looks like the Neponset River was considered the border between Dorchester, Milton and Dedham
Readville: Dedham's contribution was likely from the current Boston/Dedham line at Sprague Street, West Milton Street, and River Street, and formed an island of sorts between Neponset Valley Parkway and River Street. Milton's contribution was from Paul's Bridge east to the present Wolcott Square, and then to the Dedham Line. Had these borders not been changed, Readville could have also been called West Milton.
Cleary Square: Dorchester contributed all of its land from Fairmount Avenue down to near Turtle Pond Parkway, near Kelly Field.
Hyde Park west of Cleary Square: Dorchester and West Roxbury ceded new land to Hyde Park as follows: Dorchester gave up land from around Metropolitan Avenue east of the railroad tracks, Huntington Avenue east of Clare Avenue, and West Street past River St and all the way past the George Wright Golf Course on West Street (where West St changes to Poplar St). West Roxbury contributed everything from Bald Knob Road (now Enneking Parkway) east to Cleary Square, up to and including Gordon Avenue, Georgetowne, and Turtle Pond Parkway west of River St.
Hyde Park east of Cleary Square: Milton gave up almost all of its Brush Hill section east of Fairmount Avenue and north of Beacon St to Hyde Park. Truman Highway, formerly called Water Street, straddles the Neponset for almost its entire length, and ends about 1/4 mile east of Paul's Bridge. Technically, it crosses the Milton line right before the T intersection at Neponset Valley Parkway.
It is also likely that Metropolitan Avenue, currently divided into three seperate sections, formed the basis at least three sections of Hyde Park. 1-440 Metropolitan Avenue is within Roslindale (a part of West Roxbury); 450-800 Metropolitan Avenue is in Hyde Park (formerly part of Dorchester), and after crossing the river, 801-1000 Metropolitan Avenue is in the former Milton section and is bisected by Beacon St. Hence, the name Metropolitan.
10/03/2007
We have met the enemy, and s/he is us (and our egos)
Pogo said it, but Jon Keller gives us an example of that very phrase: pick up with momentum of dissatisfaction with the other side of the aisle, and then bring that momentum to a screeching halt with a war surtax.
I don't think it will happen, because it will bear even more people already displeased their income taxes are going to the government for reasons they don't agree with. But if it does go through, the sacrifice should go both ways. If taxpayers are shelling out an extra 2-15% in surtax to fund the war, the senators and representatives are required to surrender 70% of their paychecks into a tax-free fund that will directly assist the soldiers' families.
At $150,000 per year, that's $56 million diverted to soldiers and their families - not chump change. With interest, this can grow into the billions, and give the families a much needed break when the savings and checking accounts are depleted. It will also call the bluff of those senators/representatives of who really does "support the troops" - literally putting a 70% tax where their mouth is, and taking note of who weasels out. With their salaries cut deeply, the senators/reps may then appreciate the value of wealth, and see the folly of socialism - through the iron gloves of income redistribution and punishing people for working hard and generating wealth.
To quote Jon Keller, they do it for "...[s]ymbolism. Grandstanding. Scoring what may well be a valid political point at the potential expense of gaining the political power to effect real change. In other words, doing what baby-boom era pols (of both parties) are notorious for doing, feeding their egos while progress goes hungry."
Jules Crittenden adds his 2-15 cents, with the money quote, "Conceptual flaw. Poor drafting skills, if you will. Lack of perspective. Dems understand that people hate taxes, because someone told them that once. But because they love taxes so much, they don’t get exactly how much people hate them, and therefore, how dumb this idea is. Nobody’s going to get, “Gee, this war costs a lot” off of this. They will get, “Those [jerks] want another 15 percent.”"
I don't think it will happen, because it will bear even more people already displeased their income taxes are going to the government for reasons they don't agree with. But if it does go through, the sacrifice should go both ways. If taxpayers are shelling out an extra 2-15% in surtax to fund the war, the senators and representatives are required to surrender 70% of their paychecks into a tax-free fund that will directly assist the soldiers' families.
At $150,000 per year, that's $56 million diverted to soldiers and their families - not chump change. With interest, this can grow into the billions, and give the families a much needed break when the savings and checking accounts are depleted. It will also call the bluff of those senators/representatives of who really does "support the troops" - literally putting a 70% tax where their mouth is, and taking note of who weasels out. With their salaries cut deeply, the senators/reps may then appreciate the value of wealth, and see the folly of socialism - through the iron gloves of income redistribution and punishing people for working hard and generating wealth.
To quote Jon Keller, they do it for "...[s]ymbolism. Grandstanding. Scoring what may well be a valid political point at the potential expense of gaining the political power to effect real change. In other words, doing what baby-boom era pols (of both parties) are notorious for doing, feeding their egos while progress goes hungry."
Jules Crittenden adds his 2-15 cents, with the money quote, "Conceptual flaw. Poor drafting skills, if you will. Lack of perspective. Dems understand that people hate taxes, because someone told them that once. But because they love taxes so much, they don’t get exactly how much people hate them, and therefore, how dumb this idea is. Nobody’s going to get, “Gee, this war costs a lot” off of this. They will get, “Those [jerks] want another 15 percent.”"
9/26/2007
Speaking (Real) Truth to (Corrupt) Power
Jon Keller is on a roll: he points out to the right-hand side of the aisle that Lee Bollinger's smackdown of Ahmadinejad was not only wholly appropriate, but also about time someone put the phrase "speak truth to power" into more accurate use. (Two "finger quotes" up, Jon.)
I graduated from college many moons ago, but my major was in the "hard" sciences. You could not refute, argue or dissent from anything that read "Proof," "Lemma," "Corrollary" or "Postulate." I think this is still true for the "hard" sciences today, as professors of that stripe are somewhat more apolitical than the liberal arts professors - I can't imagine a physics professor marching around campus with the sign "EMF is not the answer!" or a electrical engineering professor screaming "Stop the Illegal Occupation of the Wheatstone Bridge!"
On the other hand, I don't think my political leanings would endear the liberal arts professors of today, especially the ones who believe in the so-called dogma of "social justice." That's shorthand for "highly educated, elitist, condescending white people so guilty of their good fortunes they fake piety to make themselves feel superior." In fact, I would write in the professor's review, "Looks and acts like Marx - and I'm not talking about Chico, Harpo or Groucho."
I graduated from college many moons ago, but my major was in the "hard" sciences. You could not refute, argue or dissent from anything that read "Proof," "Lemma," "Corrollary" or "Postulate." I think this is still true for the "hard" sciences today, as professors of that stripe are somewhat more apolitical than the liberal arts professors - I can't imagine a physics professor marching around campus with the sign "EMF is not the answer!" or a electrical engineering professor screaming "Stop the Illegal Occupation of the Wheatstone Bridge!"
On the other hand, I don't think my political leanings would endear the liberal arts professors of today, especially the ones who believe in the so-called dogma of "social justice." That's shorthand for "highly educated, elitist, condescending white people so guilty of their good fortunes they fake piety to make themselves feel superior." In fact, I would write in the professor's review, "Looks and acts like Marx - and I'm not talking about Chico, Harpo or Groucho."
9/22/2007
Our new shingle...
Here's as close to a press release as I'm ever going to get...
Only in Boston, Kids! (onlyinboston2.blogspot.com) is no more. It's now Cleary Squared (clearysquared.blogspot.com.) Please change your bookmarks, links, next of kin cards, etc.
Only in Boston, Kids! (onlyinboston2.blogspot.com) is no more. It's now Cleary Squared (clearysquared.blogspot.com.) Please change your bookmarks, links, next of kin cards, etc.
9/21/2007
Making crab cakes out of cancer
All I ask is that you watch the video of Randy Pausch, a computer science professor from Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh, and once you're done, ask yourself how a man with terminal pancreatic cancer can still have the vim and vigor of a freshly-minted assistant professor. Never mind your political bent - see if you would face the end of your life either severely depressed or looking forward to it as if it were a long-term vacation.
Courtesy of Power Line.
Courtesy of Power Line.
9/04/2007
Where has the middle class gone in Boston?
Leave it to the Globe Magazine to substitute to give its view of middle class flight. Our header is what the Globe should have put to make the article more accurate.
Boston has made a paradigm shift within the past two decades. What hasn't changed is prejudice and mistrust between the classes and races. One neighborhood fears declining property values (sketchy people, groups of kids acting up); another neighborhood fears gentrification (big luxury condos, luxury stores and restaurants) and commercialization (big box stores). In the twain are people who have lived in their neighborhoods for decades, paying higher property taxes - sometimes overriden over the 2-1/2% limit - for what is purported for education and health care, but ends up elsewhere, like the general fund or for pork projects.
The middle class in Boston is existent - but it is not as obvious as it once was. In the 1960s, Blue Hill Avenue used to be a enclave for the Boston Jewry. By 1970, it became mostly Afro-American. You have to travel to the far-flung borders of Boston to see a thriving middle class. Hyde Park, West Roxbury, Roslindale, and other parts of the city are good examples where the middle class has not been shoved out and force to flee to a better middle class climate.
What really ruins the dream of the middle class living in the Athens of America is what has oiled the cogs of Boston for centuries - corruption in politics, sky-high housing prices, elitism, a transit system that constantly begs for more money from riders and spends them on vanity projects, and a smug attitude of "we are the best," even contrary to the fact (viz. The Big Dig) . People who have never been to this city or have toured the city only see the surface of what Boston really is, and if the tourist trolley companies had an all-Boston tour, it would certainly take the Athens of America moniker and turn it into the Most Dysfunctional City of America.
The middle class notices this with a gimlet eye for BS. They are taking a look around in their areas, don't like what they see, and plan to leave the area, and quite frankly, I don't blame them.
Update: Here's a different take. There's also the attitude in the suburbs that "if we were like Boston, we'd be successful too, bringing in all that revenue and taxes so we can have better things." Building multi-million dollar condos in Newton will come after they shove a camel through the eye of a needle.
Boston has made a paradigm shift within the past two decades. What hasn't changed is prejudice and mistrust between the classes and races. One neighborhood fears declining property values (sketchy people, groups of kids acting up); another neighborhood fears gentrification (big luxury condos, luxury stores and restaurants) and commercialization (big box stores). In the twain are people who have lived in their neighborhoods for decades, paying higher property taxes - sometimes overriden over the 2-1/2% limit - for what is purported for education and health care, but ends up elsewhere, like the general fund or for pork projects.
The middle class in Boston is existent - but it is not as obvious as it once was. In the 1960s, Blue Hill Avenue used to be a enclave for the Boston Jewry. By 1970, it became mostly Afro-American. You have to travel to the far-flung borders of Boston to see a thriving middle class. Hyde Park, West Roxbury, Roslindale, and other parts of the city are good examples where the middle class has not been shoved out and force to flee to a better middle class climate.
What really ruins the dream of the middle class living in the Athens of America is what has oiled the cogs of Boston for centuries - corruption in politics, sky-high housing prices, elitism, a transit system that constantly begs for more money from riders and spends them on vanity projects, and a smug attitude of "we are the best," even contrary to the fact (viz. The Big Dig) . People who have never been to this city or have toured the city only see the surface of what Boston really is, and if the tourist trolley companies had an all-Boston tour, it would certainly take the Athens of America moniker and turn it into the Most Dysfunctional City of America.
The middle class notices this with a gimlet eye for BS. They are taking a look around in their areas, don't like what they see, and plan to leave the area, and quite frankly, I don't blame them.
Update: Here's a different take. There's also the attitude in the suburbs that "if we were like Boston, we'd be successful too, bringing in all that revenue and taxes so we can have better things." Building multi-million dollar condos in Newton will come after they shove a camel through the eye of a needle.
8/13/2007
Get your control freak hands off my "everything!"
We read this article regarding an overarching desire for change (through the good people at lucianne.com) and discovered a few things that shocked us.
1. People secretly adore criminals because they're the ultimate rebels, until said criminals turn around, point a gun at your head, demand all your money, shoot you dead, and your friends are agog at the ruthless efficiency of their criminal nature!
2. "Everything must be different!" is a battle cry for "We're so overwhelmed with guilt we can't stand it! Let our control freak flag fly, establish totalitarianism for everyone, make people exceedingly poor - except us, where we'll be off in our own island, using the same slave classes to bring us drinks and food chop-chop while we bang out press releases and enjoy the fruits of their labors!"
3. "Now normal folks are speaking out in their own media, and it just freaks out our socialist Ruling Class." That's because the socialist Ruling Class are a bunch of control addicts who deserve every bit of venom cast towards their simpering maws, including extended middle fingers, blogs that blast every single conspiracy theory to dust, and people who "just don't get" the spoiled elite and find out answers for themselves!
1. People secretly adore criminals because they're the ultimate rebels, until said criminals turn around, point a gun at your head, demand all your money, shoot you dead, and your friends are agog at the ruthless efficiency of their criminal nature!
2. "Everything must be different!" is a battle cry for "We're so overwhelmed with guilt we can't stand it! Let our control freak flag fly, establish totalitarianism for everyone, make people exceedingly poor - except us, where we'll be off in our own island, using the same slave classes to bring us drinks and food chop-chop while we bang out press releases and enjoy the fruits of their labors!"
3. "Now normal folks are speaking out in their own media, and it just freaks out our socialist Ruling Class." That's because the socialist Ruling Class are a bunch of control addicts who deserve every bit of venom cast towards their simpering maws, including extended middle fingers, blogs that blast every single conspiracy theory to dust, and people who "just don't get" the spoiled elite and find out answers for themselves!
8/12/2007
Notre T-shirt - 'Un piège de touristes… mais notre piège de touristes!' (Our T-shirt: A tourist trap - but our tourist trap!)
We went to Maine yesterday on the Downeaster and when we passed by Old Orchard Beach in the early evening, roughly 7:15pm or so, we saw crowds upon crowds of people lining the streets.
So when we took a glance at this story regarding OOB and French-Canadian invasion, we know exactly why they come down from Montreal and Quebec City.
1. The exchange rate about four years ago was 65 cents US to the Canadian dollar. Now, it's 95 cents US to the Canadian dollar. Also, the only taxes Quebeckers have to worry about is the Maine state sales tax of 5% for general sales tax and 7% for food and lodging.
2. Gasoline is cheap, cheap, cheap, even after they cross the border into Vermont. At the border, gas is about $2.88-$2.95 a gallon, or $0.76-$0.78 per liter - a full $0.25 per liter cheaper than what they sell in Canada. The further south you go, the better the prices are; in OOB, $2.79 ($0.73 per liter) is a huge bargain, compared to the $1.01 per liter ($3.81 per gallon) they pay in Canada.
3. Maine is not like the "big cities" of Boston and New York. It is truly a vacation land where a Quebecker can relax and indulge in the big waves in the sea and buy tacky souvenirs without the veneer of unsubstantiated stereotypes, like robbers and con artists lurking in every corner, and gangs of toughs intimidating poor souls and upping the murder count. Not every part of Maine is perfect and full of "Ayuh" salties; there are places where everything's not hunky-dory; the more unsavory of characters (bums, drug addicts) and the social fringe have filled the places where bustling businesses once were. More about that later.
4. Unlike other tourist spots in Canada, in which a leisurely drive from parts of Quebec may take over 10 hours, OOB and New England is easily accessible. Vermont and Quebec are an hour's drive away; OOB is 5-3/4 hours away; Boston is roughly 6-1/2 to 7 hours; New York City (via I-87) about 5-6; and Cape Cod is about 8-9 hours away.
So when we took a glance at this story regarding OOB and French-Canadian invasion, we know exactly why they come down from Montreal and Quebec City.
1. The exchange rate about four years ago was 65 cents US to the Canadian dollar. Now, it's 95 cents US to the Canadian dollar. Also, the only taxes Quebeckers have to worry about is the Maine state sales tax of 5% for general sales tax and 7% for food and lodging.
2. Gasoline is cheap, cheap, cheap, even after they cross the border into Vermont. At the border, gas is about $2.88-$2.95 a gallon, or $0.76-$0.78 per liter - a full $0.25 per liter cheaper than what they sell in Canada. The further south you go, the better the prices are; in OOB, $2.79 ($0.73 per liter) is a huge bargain, compared to the $1.01 per liter ($3.81 per gallon) they pay in Canada.
3. Maine is not like the "big cities" of Boston and New York. It is truly a vacation land where a Quebecker can relax and indulge in the big waves in the sea and buy tacky souvenirs without the veneer of unsubstantiated stereotypes, like robbers and con artists lurking in every corner, and gangs of toughs intimidating poor souls and upping the murder count. Not every part of Maine is perfect and full of "Ayuh" salties; there are places where everything's not hunky-dory; the more unsavory of characters (bums, drug addicts) and the social fringe have filled the places where bustling businesses once were. More about that later.
4. Unlike other tourist spots in Canada, in which a leisurely drive from parts of Quebec may take over 10 hours, OOB and New England is easily accessible. Vermont and Quebec are an hour's drive away; OOB is 5-3/4 hours away; Boston is roughly 6-1/2 to 7 hours; New York City (via I-87) about 5-6; and Cape Cod is about 8-9 hours away.
8/08/2007
Shut your damn cellphone off or else you get NOTHING
That would be the Boston version of this Bob Slate request.
Here are some variants of that sign for various neighborhoods...
Hyde Park: Please don't talk on your cellphone. (Hyde Park is known to be very simple and straightforward.)
West Roxbury: Like, your cellphone conversation, like, bothers me. Take it outside so, like, I don't have to hear it. (West Roxbury has had that "Valley Girl" kind of patina. Roslindale would omit the 'likes.')
South End/Beacon Hill: Hey, I know your phone conversation is really interesting, but how about fishing out your platinum American Express so we can complete your purchase and extend to you our wonderful customer service?
Dorchester/Roxbury: Hey, man...dig, I have one of those cellphones that bleep and chirp and I gotta tell you, they're convenient. But I gotta tell you - stop chirping now, 'cause I get it mixed up with my alarm system.
Charlestown/North End: Yo, you with the %&#$@# idiot device glued to your skull! You're holding up the $%#&@ line! You got FIVE seconds to hang up that phone or else you're gonna make medical history when MGH takes it out of your intestines!
East Boston: Hey, man...nice phone! Who you talkin' to, pal? Listen, my grandmother's just been learning English (she's from the old country, know what I'm sayin'?) and last week she asked me something about what you're talking about now...she thinks it's funny, but you know, Granny's forgets sometimes that certain combinations of words ain't good, and my mother, she's gotten quite embarrassed. You know where Cleveland is, right? You know what a steamer is, right? You put them together...that what my grandmother said in front of Monsignor Delgato, eh? So to put me in good spirits with my mother again, I gotta ask you to put the cell phone away.
Here are some variants of that sign for various neighborhoods...
Hyde Park: Please don't talk on your cellphone. (Hyde Park is known to be very simple and straightforward.)
West Roxbury: Like, your cellphone conversation, like, bothers me. Take it outside so, like, I don't have to hear it. (West Roxbury has had that "Valley Girl" kind of patina. Roslindale would omit the 'likes.')
South End/Beacon Hill: Hey, I know your phone conversation is really interesting, but how about fishing out your platinum American Express so we can complete your purchase and extend to you our wonderful customer service?
Dorchester/Roxbury: Hey, man...dig, I have one of those cellphones that bleep and chirp and I gotta tell you, they're convenient. But I gotta tell you - stop chirping now, 'cause I get it mixed up with my alarm system.
Charlestown/North End: Yo, you with the %&#$@# idiot device glued to your skull! You're holding up the $%#&@ line! You got FIVE seconds to hang up that phone or else you're gonna make medical history when MGH takes it out of your intestines!
East Boston: Hey, man...nice phone! Who you talkin' to, pal? Listen, my grandmother's just been learning English (she's from the old country, know what I'm sayin'?) and last week she asked me something about what you're talking about now...she thinks it's funny, but you know, Granny's forgets sometimes that certain combinations of words ain't good, and my mother, she's gotten quite embarrassed. You know where Cleveland is, right? You know what a steamer is, right? You put them together...that what my grandmother said in front of Monsignor Delgato, eh? So to put me in good spirits with my mother again, I gotta ask you to put the cell phone away.
7/18/2007
How to fund your 401(k) safely for retirement, part 2
If you read yesterday's entry on 401(k) funding, here's some more advice.
1. Prospectuses are not written for the public audiences. Reading a prospectus without the language and understanding of what's involved is the same as going into a dark room without a flashlight. Even the items intended for the general public tend to read like a thick book of gibberish. If you're not sure of how your funds will be invested, it doesn't hurt to ask a financial adviser or your 401(k) administrator. Don't let them talk you into adding more money than you're willing to invest.
2. Be aware of your tax brackets. This is true at all stages: first job, current job, and retirement. If you're in the 15% tax bracket, contributing to a 401(k) plan pre-tax will certainly reduce your taxable income - the nicest thing about contributing to a plan like this, and these contributions can be put onto your tax form, along with your company's matching contributions. When you retire and begin to take the money out, however, your tax bracket will change depending on the funds and fees. Taxes must be taken out on any distributions due to you, which may raise you to perhaps the 25%-35% bracket.
3. Like to go solo? IRAs may fit the bill. Individual retirement accounts work just the same as 401(k) accounts, but you don't get a company match, and the most you can contribute to a IRA is $4,000 per year. On the other hand, some IRAs do not carry a 10% IRS penalty for withdrawals, but it's the "once it's gone, you can't replace it" variety, meaning you have to rebuild it from scratch. You can also supplement your 401(k) with an IRA, and vice versa.
4. Contribute 0% to your 401(k)? You're not alone. Not funding your 401(k) is considered a sin in the financial world, but a forgivable sin depending on your circumstances. If you're a college graduate paying $1000+ a month in student loans, a first-time homebuyer paying $1500+ per month in mortgages, or someone who has a mountain of credit card bills, those siren calls of "your leaving money on the table!" will force some to overcompensate their contributions, and bring them into worse financial shape than they were before. Which is worse - not contributing to your 401(k) plan, or having your wages garnished for student loan default, or your home foreclosed, because you neglected to plan ahead of time? Relax. Even a 2% contribution may be a head start and enough to start a nest egg, and your employer will do it for you thanks to a new law. Sometimes that money on the table is best taken a sawbuck at a time - but when that mortgage is paid off or the student loan is finished, THEN start putting more and more money into your account.
1. Prospectuses are not written for the public audiences. Reading a prospectus without the language and understanding of what's involved is the same as going into a dark room without a flashlight. Even the items intended for the general public tend to read like a thick book of gibberish. If you're not sure of how your funds will be invested, it doesn't hurt to ask a financial adviser or your 401(k) administrator. Don't let them talk you into adding more money than you're willing to invest.
2. Be aware of your tax brackets. This is true at all stages: first job, current job, and retirement. If you're in the 15% tax bracket, contributing to a 401(k) plan pre-tax will certainly reduce your taxable income - the nicest thing about contributing to a plan like this, and these contributions can be put onto your tax form, along with your company's matching contributions. When you retire and begin to take the money out, however, your tax bracket will change depending on the funds and fees. Taxes must be taken out on any distributions due to you, which may raise you to perhaps the 25%-35% bracket.
3. Like to go solo? IRAs may fit the bill. Individual retirement accounts work just the same as 401(k) accounts, but you don't get a company match, and the most you can contribute to a IRA is $4,000 per year. On the other hand, some IRAs do not carry a 10% IRS penalty for withdrawals, but it's the "once it's gone, you can't replace it" variety, meaning you have to rebuild it from scratch. You can also supplement your 401(k) with an IRA, and vice versa.
4. Contribute 0% to your 401(k)? You're not alone. Not funding your 401(k) is considered a sin in the financial world, but a forgivable sin depending on your circumstances. If you're a college graduate paying $1000+ a month in student loans, a first-time homebuyer paying $1500+ per month in mortgages, or someone who has a mountain of credit card bills, those siren calls of "your leaving money on the table!" will force some to overcompensate their contributions, and bring them into worse financial shape than they were before. Which is worse - not contributing to your 401(k) plan, or having your wages garnished for student loan default, or your home foreclosed, because you neglected to plan ahead of time? Relax. Even a 2% contribution may be a head start and enough to start a nest egg, and your employer will do it for you thanks to a new law. Sometimes that money on the table is best taken a sawbuck at a time - but when that mortgage is paid off or the student loan is finished, THEN start putting more and more money into your account.
7/17/2007
How to fund your 401(k) safely for your retirement
Consumerist has three common mistakes...but neglect a few things we've noticed when we look in our statement.
1. A 401(k) account is NOT a substitute for financial planning. Your other obligations - rent, bills, debt, funding emergency accounts - come first. Then, any discretionary income you have left over you can put into your retirement fund.
2. 401(k) funds have fees - which is why 401(k) administrators encourage you to put money into the retirement account. Even if you do nothing, your 401(k) administrator can slice anywhere from 0.5% to 2% of your account in various fees. 2% may not seem like much, but if you manage to save $1 million for your retirement account, $20,000 gets sliced off for such mundane things as reports, research, pressing the RETURN button, etc. All that company match goodness...down the toilet.
3. Contribute only what you can afford. You can save up to the $15,500 limit in your 401(k), but most people save around 6% to receive the optimum company match. After the $15,500 is met, the company match ends - you can still contribute but you won't get any further company match from your employer. Don't be the idiot who saves 30% of their salary in their 401(k) and end up being short on your rent, bills, etc.
4. Remember the ages of 59.5 and 70.5. Those are the ages when you can withdraw funds. Younger than 59.5 - 10% IRS penalty if loan not paid back in 5 years. Older than 70.5 - 50% on difference of minimum distribution if not selected. In between - no penalties, but may select to take all or minimum.
5. If you don't know how to invest, don't contribute to your 401(k) until you have a clear idea what your goals are, what risk you're willing to take, and how much you need. Don't fund your account just because Suze Orman and Jim Kramer tell you to; all that extra money goes to fees and maintenance. Unless you know where you're going, and have everything mapped out, the money "on the table" from your employer might as well be set ablaze if your investment decisions and contributions sink like a rock.
6. Matched contributions from your employer DOES NOT EQUAL "free money." Another thing that the financial gurus proclaim is the biggest thing about 401(k) accounts is that if you don't contribute, it's leaving money on the table. Hogwash. Matched contributions are not free - they are an appreciation of your service from your employer, sometimes in lieu of other compensation (e.g. an employer may give you a profit sharing bonus in your account rather than a bonus check, scalped in half by taxes). If your work ethic is bad, you're a slacker on the job and only exist for a paycheck, you're stealing that 401(k) match that a harder-working employee could use to supplement their accounts. That "free" money can also be eaten up by fees and penalties if you're not careful. A better way of considering a company match is as an encouragement - not a reward.
Discussion to be continued...
1. A 401(k) account is NOT a substitute for financial planning. Your other obligations - rent, bills, debt, funding emergency accounts - come first. Then, any discretionary income you have left over you can put into your retirement fund.
2. 401(k) funds have fees - which is why 401(k) administrators encourage you to put money into the retirement account. Even if you do nothing, your 401(k) administrator can slice anywhere from 0.5% to 2% of your account in various fees. 2% may not seem like much, but if you manage to save $1 million for your retirement account, $20,000 gets sliced off for such mundane things as reports, research, pressing the RETURN button, etc. All that company match goodness...down the toilet.
3. Contribute only what you can afford. You can save up to the $15,500 limit in your 401(k), but most people save around 6% to receive the optimum company match. After the $15,500 is met, the company match ends - you can still contribute but you won't get any further company match from your employer. Don't be the idiot who saves 30% of their salary in their 401(k) and end up being short on your rent, bills, etc.
4. Remember the ages of 59.5 and 70.5. Those are the ages when you can withdraw funds. Younger than 59.5 - 10% IRS penalty if loan not paid back in 5 years. Older than 70.5 - 50% on difference of minimum distribution if not selected. In between - no penalties, but may select to take all or minimum.
5. If you don't know how to invest, don't contribute to your 401(k) until you have a clear idea what your goals are, what risk you're willing to take, and how much you need. Don't fund your account just because Suze Orman and Jim Kramer tell you to; all that extra money goes to fees and maintenance. Unless you know where you're going, and have everything mapped out, the money "on the table" from your employer might as well be set ablaze if your investment decisions and contributions sink like a rock.
6. Matched contributions from your employer DOES NOT EQUAL "free money." Another thing that the financial gurus proclaim is the biggest thing about 401(k) accounts is that if you don't contribute, it's leaving money on the table. Hogwash. Matched contributions are not free - they are an appreciation of your service from your employer, sometimes in lieu of other compensation (e.g. an employer may give you a profit sharing bonus in your account rather than a bonus check, scalped in half by taxes). If your work ethic is bad, you're a slacker on the job and only exist for a paycheck, you're stealing that 401(k) match that a harder-working employee could use to supplement their accounts. That "free" money can also be eaten up by fees and penalties if you're not careful. A better way of considering a company match is as an encouragement - not a reward.
Discussion to be continued...
6/27/2007
The "We Hate Opposing Viewpoints" Doctrine
That's what the Fairness Doctrine really was about: For each point, there was a mandatory counterpoint in the green room, getting prepped by the producer. Then, in 1986, the Fairness Doctrine was scrapped, giving rise to such things as talk radio.
John Gibson: Those who want the Fairness Doctrine back into law will cut off a lot of its own noses to spite faces. Each time Bill Maher comes on, Ann Coulter must follow. For every Dixie Chick, a Tobey Keith, &c, &c. In other words, Hollywood, the movie industry, et. al. must become a defacto Fox News, fair and balanced and cannot rely on the polemic of one to stand while the response of the other is left unheard. (Hannity & Colmes are already a shoo in, no further parts required.)
Jon Keller: You might like all the roses in your garden, and find one rose rotting, but does that mean you put the flame-thrower to the entire rose garden? Jon puts the smackdown on a certain rotanes from Massachusetts whose $1.50 words contain zero nutritional value - sort of like cotton candy without the flavor or the teeth-rotting sugar.
Dennis Miller also gives his two cents: advertisers like the Mr. Roarke approach ("smiles, everybody!") to radio, rather than the Marge Simpson as a blue squirrel against Itchy 'n Scratchy ("don't do that! don't do that!") or the crazy nutball who thinks George Carlin talks about doomsday from the Ms Pac Man game at the bus terminal.
To us, bringing back the Fairness Doctrine represents a temper tantrum by spoiled brats, who desperately want to be heard, but the fed up parents are walking away. It's also about MONEY - those juicy advertising dollars that businesses put out for radio shows that work hard for it, not a bunch of slackers who paste together a whole buncha nothin' (or a whole bunch of horsehockey) and call it a show. The solution? Reminds us of the story of the man who deals with screaming and naughty children, whispers something into their ears, and everything magically stops and they walk away...when the shopkeeper asks how he did it, he said, "I threatened to give them the biggest spanking of their lives."
John Gibson: Those who want the Fairness Doctrine back into law will cut off a lot of its own noses to spite faces. Each time Bill Maher comes on, Ann Coulter must follow. For every Dixie Chick, a Tobey Keith, &c, &c. In other words, Hollywood, the movie industry, et. al. must become a defacto Fox News, fair and balanced and cannot rely on the polemic of one to stand while the response of the other is left unheard. (Hannity & Colmes are already a shoo in, no further parts required.)
Jon Keller: You might like all the roses in your garden, and find one rose rotting, but does that mean you put the flame-thrower to the entire rose garden? Jon puts the smackdown on a certain rotanes from Massachusetts whose $1.50 words contain zero nutritional value - sort of like cotton candy without the flavor or the teeth-rotting sugar.
Dennis Miller also gives his two cents: advertisers like the Mr. Roarke approach ("smiles, everybody!") to radio, rather than the Marge Simpson as a blue squirrel against Itchy 'n Scratchy ("don't do that! don't do that!") or the crazy nutball who thinks George Carlin talks about doomsday from the Ms Pac Man game at the bus terminal.
To us, bringing back the Fairness Doctrine represents a temper tantrum by spoiled brats, who desperately want to be heard, but the fed up parents are walking away. It's also about MONEY - those juicy advertising dollars that businesses put out for radio shows that work hard for it, not a bunch of slackers who paste together a whole buncha nothin' (or a whole bunch of horsehockey) and call it a show. The solution? Reminds us of the story of the man who deals with screaming and naughty children, whispers something into their ears, and everything magically stops and they walk away...when the shopkeeper asks how he did it, he said, "I threatened to give them the biggest spanking of their lives."
6/25/2007
Pros and Cons of Providence, RI
Pro: Easily accessible from Boston by MBTA, as there is direct service. Secret: save yourself the $15.50 round trip ($18 via Amtrak) and take the Orange Line to Forest Hills, then either Route 32 or Route 50 to Hyde Park Station and pay $4.50 - savings a whopping $3.25. Going back, get off at Hyde Park and reverse route. Bonanza bus lines also offer fares for $14.95 round trip.
Con: Train often packed; sometimes trains make all stops between South Station and Providence; at night and on the weekends, you're at the mercy of
the vending machines, which feature 500ml of Poland Spring water at $2 a whack and stale packs of Doritos. (During the week, there's a nice souvenir shop selling Rhode Island-themed gifts and The Lot. More about that later.)
Pro: RIPTA is head and shoulders above the MBTA. The fare is the same ($1.50) but you can purchase an all-day ticket for the RIPTA trolley (covers the entire city, more or less) for $3.00. Buses are clean and drivers are polite and well-mannered. Passengers we met were not the ones staring us directly in the face with an invitation to fight.
Con: Kennedy Plaza. Ever want to experience what Times Square (or the South End during the Elevated era) was before Michael Eisner decided to gentrify it? Even though the entire plaza has been rebuilt - sort of like an open Harvard Square - and you can find the buses a lot more easily than the MBTA, it is an eye-opener for the dark side of Providence. Sleaze is one of the kinder words we could use, and a few years ago we went there and watched a full-blown brawl bust out, and 30-40 Providence Police vehicles arrived in less time that it takes to sneeze. The interior is...well, after three minutes of waiting for a donut while one of its "customers" described something in sickening detail, we left feeling super dirty. As long as you wait outside, Kennedy Plaza is OK. Otherwise, South Station Bus Terminal is the Taj Mahal. Kennedy Plaza is also an intercity bus stop for Greyhound and Bonanza/Peter Pan.
Pro: Thayer Street is a walker's dream. Brown University students, bohemians, punkers, and other residents are much friendlier and don't carry that "we're a famous Ivy League University" snitty tone. (No reference to a Cambridge-based university intended.) Brown University bookstore is neat and clean, and offers plenty for the voracious reader. CVS and Store 24 for the sundries and cheap eats, but many casual restaurants (and Starbucks, of course) and neat little shops.
Con: Thayer Street is located on College Hill, which has a hill than can be best described as one you don't dare trip on. Don't aggravate the Providence Fire Department, as they haven't had a contract after 1080 days (3 years, nearly). After the shops, Thayer Street becomes a plain vanilla residential area.
Pro: The Lot, Rhode Island's lottery. Games are much more fun to play and you don't feel as if you wait for an eternity while Fatso McScratchy orders up his fat little notebook of daily numbers and his daily ration of 60-70 instant tickets. (Disclosure: we played The Numbers and Powerball and didn't win a thing. However, we did win about $20 playing the instants, but put some of the money into other things...like lunch and fare home.) Unlike our Lottery, The Rhode Island Lottery has a $20 instant ticket you don't have to wait until the 4th of July to figure out if you've won.
Con: The Lot in Rhode Island isn't publicized as much, and the games could be a horror show for seasoned Mass Lottery fans who get the hives when they play Bingo or Cashword. Also, no trash pickers because there's no trash.
Con: Train often packed; sometimes trains make all stops between South Station and Providence; at night and on the weekends, you're at the mercy of
the vending machines, which feature 500ml of Poland Spring water at $2 a whack and stale packs of Doritos. (During the week, there's a nice souvenir shop selling Rhode Island-themed gifts and The Lot. More about that later.)
Pro: RIPTA is head and shoulders above the MBTA. The fare is the same ($1.50) but you can purchase an all-day ticket for the RIPTA trolley (covers the entire city, more or less) for $3.00. Buses are clean and drivers are polite and well-mannered. Passengers we met were not the ones staring us directly in the face with an invitation to fight.
Con: Kennedy Plaza. Ever want to experience what Times Square (or the South End during the Elevated era) was before Michael Eisner decided to gentrify it? Even though the entire plaza has been rebuilt - sort of like an open Harvard Square - and you can find the buses a lot more easily than the MBTA, it is an eye-opener for the dark side of Providence. Sleaze is one of the kinder words we could use, and a few years ago we went there and watched a full-blown brawl bust out, and 30-40 Providence Police vehicles arrived in less time that it takes to sneeze. The interior is...well, after three minutes of waiting for a donut while one of its "customers" described something in sickening detail, we left feeling super dirty. As long as you wait outside, Kennedy Plaza is OK. Otherwise, South Station Bus Terminal is the Taj Mahal. Kennedy Plaza is also an intercity bus stop for Greyhound and Bonanza/Peter Pan.
Pro: Thayer Street is a walker's dream. Brown University students, bohemians, punkers, and other residents are much friendlier and don't carry that "we're a famous Ivy League University" snitty tone. (No reference to a Cambridge-based university intended.) Brown University bookstore is neat and clean, and offers plenty for the voracious reader. CVS and Store 24 for the sundries and cheap eats, but many casual restaurants (and Starbucks, of course) and neat little shops.
Con: Thayer Street is located on College Hill, which has a hill than can be best described as one you don't dare trip on. Don't aggravate the Providence Fire Department, as they haven't had a contract after 1080 days (3 years, nearly). After the shops, Thayer Street becomes a plain vanilla residential area.
Pro: The Lot, Rhode Island's lottery. Games are much more fun to play and you don't feel as if you wait for an eternity while Fatso McScratchy orders up his fat little notebook of daily numbers and his daily ration of 60-70 instant tickets. (Disclosure: we played The Numbers and Powerball and didn't win a thing. However, we did win about $20 playing the instants, but put some of the money into other things...like lunch and fare home.) Unlike our Lottery, The Rhode Island Lottery has a $20 instant ticket you don't have to wait until the 4th of July to figure out if you've won.
Con: The Lot in Rhode Island isn't publicized as much, and the games could be a horror show for seasoned Mass Lottery fans who get the hives when they play Bingo or Cashword. Also, no trash pickers because there's no trash.
6/18/2007
Control freaks at Johns Hopkins University
The worst type of control freak is one who is put out by the slightest millimeter of offense, and then proclaims numbers of "acts" to gain back forgiveness. These are the types of people who are so insecure, so afraid of incivility, so afraid to offend, that they display their fit of pique in a way the Marquis of Sade would implore them to stop.
Witness the self-flagellation and acts of Job that the professors of Johns Hopkins attempted to put through this student (advice: read thoroughly re: Baltimore, please!) before the public and FIRE* screamed blue murder.
The extreme overreaction at JH screams academic totalitarianism - more worthy of the Soviet Union than at a college that pledges "diversity, tolerance, and understanding." Not when those three are at the discretion of very narrow minds.
*the Foundation for Individual Rights in Education
Witness the self-flagellation and acts of Job that the professors of Johns Hopkins attempted to put through this student (advice: read thoroughly re: Baltimore, please!) before the public and FIRE* screamed blue murder.
The extreme overreaction at JH screams academic totalitarianism - more worthy of the Soviet Union than at a college that pledges "diversity, tolerance, and understanding." Not when those three are at the discretion of very narrow minds.
*the Foundation for Individual Rights in Education
6/17/2007
Cursing to the Choir, middle school edition
Kids: if you're going to do Chris Rock monologues, find the clean and non-controversial ones, not the ones with abundant amounts of deleted expletives.
On the other hand, the girl who let loose with her Andrew Dice Clay rendition did a great service: since no one would listen to the complaints from teachers and other students about the choir teacher's litanies and tirades, what better place highlight your teacher's shortcomings than after a Rogers & Hart song!
Hey, it might cost you a ten day suspension and make you miss your graduation ceremony and party, but the best thing is that it forced some of these administrators with their hands on their ears to finally listen!
On the other hand, the girl who let loose with her Andrew Dice Clay rendition did a great service: since no one would listen to the complaints from teachers and other students about the choir teacher's litanies and tirades, what better place highlight your teacher's shortcomings than after a Rogers & Hart song!
Hey, it might cost you a ten day suspension and make you miss your graduation ceremony and party, but the best thing is that it forced some of these administrators with their hands on their ears to finally listen!
6/15/2007
Smug Kills, Same Sex Marriage Edition
Jon Keller makes perfect sense when he says "don't gloat." Even Deval Patrick was eloquent enough to tell the crowd to dial the smug way down:
Agreed, Governor Patrick. The Michael Corleone maxim is "keep your friends close and your enemies closer." Or, you may need your enemies one day if you're in a real jam.
The folks on the other side of this question are still our brothers and sisters. And we need them tomorrow and the next day and the day after that if we are together going to confront and solve the challenges facing up economically or in the public schools or on broken roads and bridges and a health care system we are trying to reinvent and a whole list of other issues on which we must come together.
Agreed, Governor Patrick. The Michael Corleone maxim is "keep your friends close and your enemies closer." Or, you may need your enemies one day if you're in a real jam.
6/14/2007
Just Plain Marriage, or Do You? Do You? Good, You're Married
We're going to take the Spaceballs (warning: some language naughty) approach to what happened on the same-sex marriage front:
Quote #1 refers to the group of people meeting Yogurt (Mel Brooks), the Yoda knockoff:
Princess Vespa: Yogurt, the wise.
Dot Matrix: Yogurt, the all-powerful.
Barf: Yogurt, the magnificent
Yogurt: Please, please, don't make a fuss. I'm just plain Yogurt.
We've watched what's been going on in this front, and we just shrug our shoulders. We don't care about who gets married, and that the genders in front of the altar don't matter. What we do care about is that marriage isn't an exercise to show how far it can be stretched and bent to fit the wills and whims of certain groups.
Jon Keller's explanation is very true: marriage means social stability, regardless of gender, and none of the horrors predicted by the pundits ever happened. Governor Patrick can take pride in defusing a political hot potato - even if he had to do a little "horse trading" to do so. The legislators, instead of indulging in antics befit for spoiled children, practiced real democracy and voted, rather than delaying it, canceling it, or adjourning it. The pols who promised their voters one thing and did another will get their comeuppance at the ballot box. Liberal newspapers will put the results in the editorial pages; talk radio will get their callers complaining or praising the decision. Life goes on, and it's truly
There was one glaring item: the most obnoxious and unnecessary aspect of this debate was the argument between the two opposing camps: the cacophony of shrill slogans, sound bites, blaringly colorful signs, and colorful versions of what might happen if one side wins and the other loses. More rational voices, such as the ones who might not like the hefty weight of marriage but feel more comfortable with a less binding but similarly official civil union, or men and women who are in common-law marriages, were left out in the debate. Giving ground from "the people have spoken" to "let all the people speak, and if necessary, vote" and "marriage is strictly between a man and a woman" "marriage is usually between a man and a woman, but in the interest of true civil rights, marriage between two men and two women are also acceptable."
Quote #1 refers to the group of people meeting Yogurt (Mel Brooks), the Yoda knockoff:
Princess Vespa: Yogurt, the wise.
Dot Matrix: Yogurt, the all-powerful.
Barf: Yogurt, the magnificent
Yogurt: Please, please, don't make a fuss. I'm just plain Yogurt.
We've watched what's been going on in this front, and we just shrug our shoulders. We don't care about who gets married, and that the genders in front of the altar don't matter. What we do care about is that marriage isn't an exercise to show how far it can be stretched and bent to fit the wills and whims of certain groups.
Jon Keller's explanation is very true: marriage means social stability, regardless of gender, and none of the horrors predicted by the pundits ever happened. Governor Patrick can take pride in defusing a political hot potato - even if he had to do a little "horse trading" to do so. The legislators, instead of indulging in antics befit for spoiled children, practiced real democracy and voted, rather than delaying it, canceling it, or adjourning it. The pols who promised their voters one thing and did another will get their comeuppance at the ballot box. Liberal newspapers will put the results in the editorial pages; talk radio will get their callers complaining or praising the decision. Life goes on, and it's truly
There was one glaring item: the most obnoxious and unnecessary aspect of this debate was the argument between the two opposing camps: the cacophony of shrill slogans, sound bites, blaringly colorful signs, and colorful versions of what might happen if one side wins and the other loses. More rational voices, such as the ones who might not like the hefty weight of marriage but feel more comfortable with a less binding but similarly official civil union, or men and women who are in common-law marriages, were left out in the debate. Giving ground from "the people have spoken" to "let all the people speak, and if necessary, vote" and "marriage is strictly between a man and a woman" "marriage is usually between a man and a woman, but in the interest of true civil rights, marriage between two men and two women are also acceptable."
6/08/2007
Save for your future - unless you're poor, then you don't get any benefits
The Boston Globe (via the Consumerist) has an interesting article on how the poor are punished for saving money, either through the 401(k)/403(b) program or just by plain saving their paychecks.
Some pretty startling tidbits from the article:
"We're constantly told that we need to save early and often to prepare for retirement...[y]et government policies tell low-income families, 'If you save for the future, you won't get our help today.' "
"For example, the tax credit for saving for retirement is wiped away when the taxpayer also qualifies for the earned income tax credit."
"[E]ach $1 saved by a single mother earning $15,000 a year would cost [a person] $2.60 in higher taxes and lost government benefits."
"...[P]utting a few dollars aside in a retirement plan can disqualify families for food stamps, healthcare benefits, and assistance given to poor families with children."
"In Massachusetts, for example, anyone with assets of $2,500 or more is disqualified from receiving federal assistance to families with dependent children. That asset test includes retirement accounts and even the cash value of a life insurance policy...[a]s a result, a single parent with two children who earns $500 a month would lose $133 a month in benefits if the family saved more than a nominal amount for retirement."
Employers love to assert that not putting money into a retirement plan is like leaving "free money" on the table, in the form of employer matches. For the poor, taking that "free money" is poison, as it will reduce or end their government benefits immediately. Putting in even 1% of their paycheck towards retirement - $2 a week for the woman earning $15,000 a year, and with a company match of 100% - is enough to reduce their benefits by 26%. Even maintaining an emergency account for expenses is enough to cause benefits to cease.
Truly sickening.
Some pretty startling tidbits from the article:
"We're constantly told that we need to save early and often to prepare for retirement...[y]et government policies tell low-income families, 'If you save for the future, you won't get our help today.' "
"For example, the tax credit for saving for retirement is wiped away when the taxpayer also qualifies for the earned income tax credit."
"[E]ach $1 saved by a single mother earning $15,000 a year would cost [a person] $2.60 in higher taxes and lost government benefits."
"...[P]utting a few dollars aside in a retirement plan can disqualify families for food stamps, healthcare benefits, and assistance given to poor families with children."
"In Massachusetts, for example, anyone with assets of $2,500 or more is disqualified from receiving federal assistance to families with dependent children. That asset test includes retirement accounts and even the cash value of a life insurance policy...[a]s a result, a single parent with two children who earns $500 a month would lose $133 a month in benefits if the family saved more than a nominal amount for retirement."
Employers love to assert that not putting money into a retirement plan is like leaving "free money" on the table, in the form of employer matches. For the poor, taking that "free money" is poison, as it will reduce or end their government benefits immediately. Putting in even 1% of their paycheck towards retirement - $2 a week for the woman earning $15,000 a year, and with a company match of 100% - is enough to reduce their benefits by 26%. Even maintaining an emergency account for expenses is enough to cause benefits to cease.
Truly sickening.
Why MCAS matters, and why it won't be going away any time soon
If you work in any industry that's all metrics, all the time (and by that we don't mean kilograms, hectares and millimeters), you understand that in certain times of the week, month, or year, you must be reaching some kind of benchmark, line of reference, or company standard. Numbers are the lifeblood of your business, and the entire business is to sustain or exceed the standards and expectations of your business - and to keep a steady eye on the competition.
A great example of this are those who work on commission. Your company sets targets on what you must sell. If you sell a lot of things, you make much more commission on top of your base salary, take home a huge paycheck, and have opportunities for promotion. If you sell very little or nothing, your bosses will demand to know why, offer you help to get more commission, and if you're still not making their targets, you no longer have a job. Nothing spells humiliation like security guards escorting you out the door, final paltry paycheck and unemployment information in one hand and your box of belongings in another.
It's no different in the school system. If students learn and succeed, getting straight A's (and some with B's) and actually going beyond what they learn in school, they will get praise and four year scholarships. If the students don't care, getting F's and getting held back in certain classes, or getting held back entire grades, they will find themselves without skills, relegating them to permanent entry-level job status or intermittent unemployment...and by then, they'll have regretted not getting even C's in their classes.
Hence, the MCAS: a test for students to measure what they're learning, how their learning, and what teachers and administrators can do to maintain their good status, and how to improve the bad status. We're not endorsing or damning the MCAS here - but we have some notions and understanding why (a) certain classes of people resent it, (b) why certain cities want it abolished, and (c) why MCAS won't be abolished any time soon.
First, Jon Keller gives an overview of the MCAS and its genesis: without accountability (which is the mother of benchmarks and standards), the quality of students' educations were as flimsy as tissue paper. Students got their diplomas, and when they began in their college work, even the straight "A" students struggled mightily to get a "D" or even a gentleman's "C". Those who didn't go to college went into the workforce, found jobs without a college degree lacking, and end up in menial, low-paying, dead-end jobs - or went unemployed for a long spell. The teachers who weren't wowing their students with self-indulgent, happy-pill pep-talks were regaling students with tall tales and guilt trips about American history and culture, and how to foment a neat little armed revolution. The remaining teachers were so deep into tenure they couldn't be fired, no matter how corrupt or incompetent they were, because the teacher's unions
had the administration by nose. The MCAS, in this instance, was the great leveler: take away all the cute little quirks that damaged the students education, and make them strive for excellence.
The richer school districts have students who are already striving for excellence: they're succeeding like crazy, and have excellent teachers who encourage their students to aim high but reach higher. The dark side - the richer districts are quite the snobs, as they would rather not compete or be lumped with students in poorer school districts, and the MCAS forces these students - who will do outstanding even outside the MCAS test - to be brought down from their lofty perches that none of the poorer school districts can ever hope to reach, crashing to Earth. This time, all 351 cities and towns in Massachusetts must now prove that their students are competent and knowledgeable, and the richer school districts can't charm, protest, or buy their way out of it.
This leads us to why certain cities and towns want the MCAS abolished, and why these towns don't want anything to do with standardized testing. The teachers in the richer cities and towns must set aside their pet curricula to help students pass the MCAS test. This means for several weeks, students must learn the three Rs - boring subjects that don't involve indoctrination, conspiracy theories, Paul Bunyan-like retellings of American history, bashing politicians, soldiers and others like overeager gossip columnists, praising stifling ideologies and brutal leaders, or silenced people or discussions on how cowardice and submission to your enemy is more noble than fighting back. One anti-testing person from Brookline wrote several letters to the editor of the Boston Herald, demanding that Governor-elect Deval Patrick get rid of that pesky MCAS test once and for all. Governor Patrick liked the idea, and said, "hey, why be part of my Cabinet and we can get rid of it together?"
We hate to break her bubble, or dry the ink out of her pen, but eliminating testing or standards, either in the schools or in the workplace, is a sign of weakness and fear - and no flotilla of weasel words ("onerous, demoralizing, racist, damaging to students' self-esteem", as Jon Keller puts it) will hide that fact. Not making students and teachers accountable, letting them absorb whatever fairy tales the teachers can stitch together, and letting the administrators pocket the cash for junkets instead of textbooks and computers, has already proven to be a disaster. We recommend the movies Lean on Me and Stand and Deliver as examples - the former for what happens when standards are eliminated, and how a principal must bring order out of chaos, and the latter for what happens when a dedicated teacher discards traditional methods and makes students from the barrios of Los Angeles succeed in a kind of high stakes examination.
A great example of this are those who work on commission. Your company sets targets on what you must sell. If you sell a lot of things, you make much more commission on top of your base salary, take home a huge paycheck, and have opportunities for promotion. If you sell very little or nothing, your bosses will demand to know why, offer you help to get more commission, and if you're still not making their targets, you no longer have a job. Nothing spells humiliation like security guards escorting you out the door, final paltry paycheck and unemployment information in one hand and your box of belongings in another.
It's no different in the school system. If students learn and succeed, getting straight A's (and some with B's) and actually going beyond what they learn in school, they will get praise and four year scholarships. If the students don't care, getting F's and getting held back in certain classes, or getting held back entire grades, they will find themselves without skills, relegating them to permanent entry-level job status or intermittent unemployment...and by then, they'll have regretted not getting even C's in their classes.
Hence, the MCAS: a test for students to measure what they're learning, how their learning, and what teachers and administrators can do to maintain their good status, and how to improve the bad status. We're not endorsing or damning the MCAS here - but we have some notions and understanding why (a) certain classes of people resent it, (b) why certain cities want it abolished, and (c) why MCAS won't be abolished any time soon.
First, Jon Keller gives an overview of the MCAS and its genesis: without accountability (which is the mother of benchmarks and standards), the quality of students' educations were as flimsy as tissue paper. Students got their diplomas, and when they began in their college work, even the straight "A" students struggled mightily to get a "D" or even a gentleman's "C". Those who didn't go to college went into the workforce, found jobs without a college degree lacking, and end up in menial, low-paying, dead-end jobs - or went unemployed for a long spell. The teachers who weren't wowing their students with self-indulgent, happy-pill pep-talks were regaling students with tall tales and guilt trips about American history and culture, and how to foment a neat little armed revolution. The remaining teachers were so deep into tenure they couldn't be fired, no matter how corrupt or incompetent they were, because the teacher's unions
had the administration by nose. The MCAS, in this instance, was the great leveler: take away all the cute little quirks that damaged the students education, and make them strive for excellence.
The richer school districts have students who are already striving for excellence: they're succeeding like crazy, and have excellent teachers who encourage their students to aim high but reach higher. The dark side - the richer districts are quite the snobs, as they would rather not compete or be lumped with students in poorer school districts, and the MCAS forces these students - who will do outstanding even outside the MCAS test - to be brought down from their lofty perches that none of the poorer school districts can ever hope to reach, crashing to Earth. This time, all 351 cities and towns in Massachusetts must now prove that their students are competent and knowledgeable, and the richer school districts can't charm, protest, or buy their way out of it.
This leads us to why certain cities and towns want the MCAS abolished, and why these towns don't want anything to do with standardized testing. The teachers in the richer cities and towns must set aside their pet curricula to help students pass the MCAS test. This means for several weeks, students must learn the three Rs - boring subjects that don't involve indoctrination, conspiracy theories, Paul Bunyan-like retellings of American history, bashing politicians, soldiers and others like overeager gossip columnists, praising stifling ideologies and brutal leaders, or silenced people or discussions on how cowardice and submission to your enemy is more noble than fighting back. One anti-testing person from Brookline wrote several letters to the editor of the Boston Herald, demanding that Governor-elect Deval Patrick get rid of that pesky MCAS test once and for all. Governor Patrick liked the idea, and said, "hey, why be part of my Cabinet and we can get rid of it together?"
We hate to break her bubble, or dry the ink out of her pen, but eliminating testing or standards, either in the schools or in the workplace, is a sign of weakness and fear - and no flotilla of weasel words ("onerous, demoralizing, racist, damaging to students' self-esteem", as Jon Keller puts it) will hide that fact. Not making students and teachers accountable, letting them absorb whatever fairy tales the teachers can stitch together, and letting the administrators pocket the cash for junkets instead of textbooks and computers, has already proven to be a disaster. We recommend the movies Lean on Me and Stand and Deliver as examples - the former for what happens when standards are eliminated, and how a principal must bring order out of chaos, and the latter for what happens when a dedicated teacher discards traditional methods and makes students from the barrios of Los Angeles succeed in a kind of high stakes examination.
6/07/2007
Jail is not hot
Perhaps the LA County Sheriff took pity on poor Paris Hilton, but wearing an ugly ankle bracelet versus sitting in the stir for 23 days? Sounds like Justice, while blind, does have a great sense of humor...and the bracelet doesn't come with Swarkovski crystals, a Bentley, or some himbo of the week.
(Theo Spark has a funny, depiction of Chanel's new "Celebrity Ball And Chain." (Watch out - some sections are naughty. We're also keen on the nose plane art, not so keen on the frightened upper-class twits wanting it banned.)
(Theo Spark has a funny, depiction of Chanel's new "Celebrity Ball And Chain." (Watch out - some sections are naughty. We're also keen on the nose plane art, not so keen on the frightened upper-class twits wanting it banned.)
6/05/2007
I ain't payin' $5 tax on a keg of Natty Light!
If our legislators weren't so addicted to spending money, our taxes would be a heck of a lot lower.
Vice (or sin) taxes are super-popular, as it's easier to inveigle the control freak nature of some of these pols. Take away the vice, and you take away the easy, interest-free and hassle money to be spent on more noble things, like naming a park after your girlfriend or researching the mating habits of albino squirrels.
We are non-smokers, and we think the habit of smoking is disgusting and dangerous. We will not chase you down with a high-powered fan if we catch you with a cigarette/cigar/pipe, however, as we love and adore freedom and respect personal choice. If the Commonwealth of Massachusetts banned cigarette smoking and cigarette sales, they'd lose $1.50 per pack in tax alone (which comes to $30 per carton - for a $48 carton that comes to a tax rate of 62.5%!). Whether there would be a black market for smokers, or better yet, a gigantic boom for stores in other states with minimal to low taxes (New Hampshire), is uncertain. When Massachusetts loses hundreds of millions of dollars in cigarette taxes because they thought it wise to ban it, everyone loses. Prohibition didn't work because a nice new black market took its place, and crime syndicates loved the idea of cornering the market in illicit hooch.
The 5% booze tax proposal will do nothing to control drinking, i.e. overconsumption of alcohol. The idea of using the money for substance abuse is well and good, but doing it through the focus of a vice tax smacks of the same Carrie Nation prudishness that did very little than give rise to speakeasies and Al Capone. Better yet, why not have some of these politicians, who get paid in the low six figure range, or about ten times poverty level, voluntarily withhold a healthy part of their paychecks for this plan? Nope...they're elected officials, and the little people must pay.
Vice (or sin) taxes are super-popular, as it's easier to inveigle the control freak nature of some of these pols. Take away the vice, and you take away the easy, interest-free and hassle money to be spent on more noble things, like naming a park after your girlfriend or researching the mating habits of albino squirrels.
We are non-smokers, and we think the habit of smoking is disgusting and dangerous. We will not chase you down with a high-powered fan if we catch you with a cigarette/cigar/pipe, however, as we love and adore freedom and respect personal choice. If the Commonwealth of Massachusetts banned cigarette smoking and cigarette sales, they'd lose $1.50 per pack in tax alone (which comes to $30 per carton - for a $48 carton that comes to a tax rate of 62.5%!). Whether there would be a black market for smokers, or better yet, a gigantic boom for stores in other states with minimal to low taxes (New Hampshire), is uncertain. When Massachusetts loses hundreds of millions of dollars in cigarette taxes because they thought it wise to ban it, everyone loses. Prohibition didn't work because a nice new black market took its place, and crime syndicates loved the idea of cornering the market in illicit hooch.
The 5% booze tax proposal will do nothing to control drinking, i.e. overconsumption of alcohol. The idea of using the money for substance abuse is well and good, but doing it through the focus of a vice tax smacks of the same Carrie Nation prudishness that did very little than give rise to speakeasies and Al Capone. Better yet, why not have some of these politicians, who get paid in the low six figure range, or about ten times poverty level, voluntarily withhold a healthy part of their paychecks for this plan? Nope...they're elected officials, and the little people must pay.
6/04/2007
Who "really hates freedom?" Control freaks, of course!
If you hate the nanny state - one in which the government, in full control freak mode, wags their fingers when you do something they don't approve of - Star Parker highlights a "woman [who] really hates freedom and has little appreciation that an ownership society and a 'we’re all in it together society' go hand in hand."
If you're a control freak, maybe the way she controls will cure you of being a control freak. Or give her some pointers.
If you're a control freak, maybe the way she controls will cure you of being a control freak. Or give her some pointers.
5/30/2007
Summer fashion blunders and how to avoid them
We know the hazy, hot and humid days of summer are upon the city, and while we are not fashion gurus ourselves (at least not in the class of the Herald's Ivana Martini, snicker), we want to point out a few things to our esteemed readers.
1. Gals: we understand completely that you've been wanting to get your legs out of their stuffy nylon-covered cocoon for six months and into an airy pair of flip-flops or sandals. We also understand that there are some places that require such torture devices to be worn, and that sometimes "less is more" (e.g. the longer the skirt, the better you can get away with a pair of cheap CVS knee-high nylons; summer weight pantyhose or ultra-sheer is also a good idea). But one thing is for certain - ankle-high nylons are for grandmas or for longer pants - not those gaucho pants that come up to your kneecaps. Ankle-highs are not for long, flowing peasant skirts with embroidered backless ballet flats. For an alternative to the dreaded pantyhose , thigh-highs (aka holdups) are a super bet and can be subtle, yet sexy. Just make sure you're not allergic to silicone. If you really want to go all out, hop over to Victoria's Secret, buy a garter belt, and a pair of real stockings. Again, subtle, yet sexy and much cooler than pantyhose.
2. Guys: Slathering on patchouli oil, deodorant, or cologne doesn't take the place of a hot shower. Nothing ruins a good summer wardrobe than smelling like a walking advertisement for Polo Green or BO. Shower as frequently as you can - whatever you do after that is your business. Also, if the only six-pack you possess is the one you grab out of the package store for a party, along with all sorts of party snacks, leave the shirt on or lose the weight. Polo shirts - always good; we live in them 24/7/365. Shorts - always good, just make sure they don't skim the ground, or they aren't shorts. And underwear - a must.
3. If you're going for the urban cowgirl look - denim skirt, cowboy boots, and cowboy shirt, please delete the nylon knee highs or hide them in your boots so they don't distract from the look. (Actually, this would be much better use for ankle-high nylons, even if you're wearing a long peasant skirt. Never go sockless - it causes chafing and makes the boots much harder to get off.) Ditto for the urban cowboy look - nothing screams "urban poseur" like dressing up like Kenny Chesney and then wearing beat up Chuck Taylors.
4. We know there are some people who are still mourning the passing of Crocodile Hunter™ Steve Irwin. If Steve were to see what one young "sheila" wore at the Brugger's Bagels in Harvard Square this morning - something that would remind us of a Steve he would likely bolt down from the heavens and scream, "Crikey! Even my daughter Bindi wouldn't even dream of putting that jumble together! The beige-colored boots are awful - my wife Terri would lock you in with the crocodiles...that's if the crocodiles weren't laughing their heads off!" Jules Crittenden would summarize thus: "Carnival of Insanities - Only in Boston sees national treasure Steve Irwin reincarnated as willowy brunette with boots...conjures spirit of Irwin and gets hit by lightning."
1. Gals: we understand completely that you've been wanting to get your legs out of their stuffy nylon-covered cocoon for six months and into an airy pair of flip-flops or sandals. We also understand that there are some places that require such torture devices to be worn, and that sometimes "less is more" (e.g. the longer the skirt, the better you can get away with a pair of cheap CVS knee-high nylons; summer weight pantyhose or ultra-sheer is also a good idea). But one thing is for certain - ankle-high nylons are for grandmas or for longer pants - not those gaucho pants that come up to your kneecaps. Ankle-highs are not for long, flowing peasant skirts with embroidered backless ballet flats. For an alternative to the dreaded pantyhose , thigh-highs (aka holdups) are a super bet and can be subtle, yet sexy. Just make sure you're not allergic to silicone. If you really want to go all out, hop over to Victoria's Secret, buy a garter belt, and a pair of real stockings. Again, subtle, yet sexy and much cooler than pantyhose.
2. Guys: Slathering on patchouli oil, deodorant, or cologne doesn't take the place of a hot shower. Nothing ruins a good summer wardrobe than smelling like a walking advertisement for Polo Green or BO. Shower as frequently as you can - whatever you do after that is your business. Also, if the only six-pack you possess is the one you grab out of the package store for a party, along with all sorts of party snacks, leave the shirt on or lose the weight. Polo shirts - always good; we live in them 24/7/365. Shorts - always good, just make sure they don't skim the ground, or they aren't shorts. And underwear - a must.
3. If you're going for the urban cowgirl look - denim skirt, cowboy boots, and cowboy shirt, please delete the nylon knee highs or hide them in your boots so they don't distract from the look. (Actually, this would be much better use for ankle-high nylons, even if you're wearing a long peasant skirt. Never go sockless - it causes chafing and makes the boots much harder to get off.) Ditto for the urban cowboy look - nothing screams "urban poseur" like dressing up like Kenny Chesney and then wearing beat up Chuck Taylors.
4. We know there are some people who are still mourning the passing of Crocodile Hunter™ Steve Irwin. If Steve were to see what one young "sheila" wore at the Brugger's Bagels in Harvard Square this morning - something that would remind us of a Steve he would likely bolt down from the heavens and scream, "Crikey! Even my daughter Bindi wouldn't even dream of putting that jumble together! The beige-colored boots are awful - my wife Terri would lock you in with the crocodiles...that's if the crocodiles weren't laughing their heads off!" Jules Crittenden would summarize thus: "Carnival of Insanities - Only in Boston sees national treasure Steve Irwin reincarnated as willowy brunette with boots...conjures spirit of Irwin and gets hit by lightning."
5/26/2007
SCAM ALERT - Back Bay Station
WARNING FOR PEOPLE WHO USE BACK BAY STATION:
We know this is a long weekend, and with the nice weather everyone from the suburbs is streaming in to enjoy it.
Our experience involved a casually dressed young woman, white, slightly chubby about the mid-to-older 20s, asking us for change at the Station News Store.
When we responded by walking briskly away, she sneered, "go ahead, run away." Then she tried to approach us, AGAIN, until we shouted in a loud voice why she would be begging for change in a store. We actually repeated it twice so the cashier(s) could hear us and get attention, as it looked like there was another taller man accompanying her.
Had it been the Spare Change Guy, he would have simply gone onto the next person to give him change. Had it been another homeless person, many would simply say, "God Bless," even if you didn't have the money. When a damsel in distress says "go ahead, run away," and then attempts to approach you a second time, perhaps with a few accomplices, it's a sign that she's looking to help herself to a lot more than your change - and perhaps use her accomplices for compliance.
This is a scam. If you are ever approached by a person for help, and something isn't kosher or makes you very uncomfortable, say nothing, leave quickly, and contact the police. Put as much distance between you and the person as feasibly possible. If possible, attract attention to your situation so the proper authorities can be contacted.
We want to put this out as a public service, as we could have very well been robbed, or worse, injured. Tourists to the Boston area deserve to be as safe as possible, and we want to make sure they leave here with a good impression - not one where Boston is a place where scammers relieve them of their wallets and our good image.
We know this is a long weekend, and with the nice weather everyone from the suburbs is streaming in to enjoy it.
Our experience involved a casually dressed young woman, white, slightly chubby about the mid-to-older 20s, asking us for change at the Station News Store.
When we responded by walking briskly away, she sneered, "go ahead, run away." Then she tried to approach us, AGAIN, until we shouted in a loud voice why she would be begging for change in a store. We actually repeated it twice so the cashier(s) could hear us and get attention, as it looked like there was another taller man accompanying her.
Had it been the Spare Change Guy, he would have simply gone onto the next person to give him change. Had it been another homeless person, many would simply say, "God Bless," even if you didn't have the money. When a damsel in distress says "go ahead, run away," and then attempts to approach you a second time, perhaps with a few accomplices, it's a sign that she's looking to help herself to a lot more than your change - and perhaps use her accomplices for compliance.
This is a scam. If you are ever approached by a person for help, and something isn't kosher or makes you very uncomfortable, say nothing, leave quickly, and contact the police. Put as much distance between you and the person as feasibly possible. If possible, attract attention to your situation so the proper authorities can be contacted.
We want to put this out as a public service, as we could have very well been robbed, or worse, injured. Tourists to the Boston area deserve to be as safe as possible, and we want to make sure they leave here with a good impression - not one where Boston is a place where scammers relieve them of their wallets and our good image.
5/22/2007
Bloggers for Cuban Liberty...¡ahora!
To our friends over at Babalu Blog: after we saw that Iberia airlines ad, we "leenkasoed" to the BUCL.
In fact, we're glad that the United States does have a blockade on Cuba, because we wouldn't want to visit Cuba or get its "wonderful, world class" healthcare - a bandaid, and maybe Pepto, if we're lucky. (Perhaps the guilty white people who hate America like it, only because they're gullible enough to believe it.)
In fact, we're glad that the United States does have a blockade on Cuba, because we wouldn't want to visit Cuba or get its "wonderful, world class" healthcare - a bandaid, and maybe Pepto, if we're lucky. (Perhaps the guilty white people who hate America like it, only because they're gullible enough to believe it.)
5/21/2007
"[O]rganic" is really just code for "awesome marketing idea."
When you buy organic foodstuffs, what are you really paying for?
- The notion that the item does not contain unhealthy additives, is raised in a favorable environment that doesn't use harmful chemicals, employs persons that are paid a fair and decent wage and are not exploited by their employers, and is processed in such a manner that it is fresh from the moment the item is selected from a careful worker, right to the point of consumption?
- The notion that only the elite (i.e. yuppies) can pay an extra 25-50% premium on things that the lower and middle classes couldn't even understand; i.e. what minimum wage slave would ever step foot into an health food cooperative, blow a quarter of their paycheck on bananas they'll let rot and throw out, and then turn around and blow the other parts of their paycheck on McDonalds, Walmart, and the cell phone they have glued to their ear?
- The notion that no one understands "organic" food except really finicky eaters, militant vegans, and yuppies, and the rest of us are happy with the non-organic stuff anyway because it's cheaper.
- The notion that the item does not contain unhealthy additives, is raised in a favorable environment that doesn't use harmful chemicals, employs persons that are paid a fair and decent wage and are not exploited by their employers, and is processed in such a manner that it is fresh from the moment the item is selected from a careful worker, right to the point of consumption?
- The notion that only the elite (i.e. yuppies) can pay an extra 25-50% premium on things that the lower and middle classes couldn't even understand; i.e. what minimum wage slave would ever step foot into an health food cooperative, blow a quarter of their paycheck on bananas they'll let rot and throw out, and then turn around and blow the other parts of their paycheck on McDonalds, Walmart, and the cell phone they have glued to their ear?
- The notion that no one understands "organic" food except really finicky eaters, militant vegans, and yuppies, and the rest of us are happy with the non-organic stuff anyway because it's cheaper.
5/19/2007
Communism laughed at God, capitalism makes Him a tax-exempt business
The Boston Herald has a good editorial about Pope Benedict's visit to Brazil, and His Holiness' comment that neither communism nor capitalism were the solution to the world's ills.
We agree with the Herald's take on communism: not merely did it resemble religion, but for many years, it was "the opiate of the masses" with such bibles as Das Kapital, The Communist Manifesto, Guerrilla Warfare, and many other tomes. Communism also had a branch of Catholicism called "liberation theology," which made Jesus not just a holy figure and the Son of God, but a Son of God who would be comfortable marching in the streets against any/all wars, and getting hauled off by the cops for interfering in military recruiting, releasing animals from their cages from research, hacking into banks and redistibuting money from billionaires and landing it into the bank accounts of the poor, or entering Wall Street and mistaking the men and women trading in polyester jackets and yelling "buy! sell!" for merchants trading in His Father's temple, and in turn smash trading boards, computers, and the like.
While we're at it, capitalism also has a religious component: many of the televangelists in the 1980s, such as Jim Bakker, Jimmy Swaggart, Jerry Falwell (and today, Benny Hinn) turned the concept of preaching the tenets of the Bible and Scripture to a modest group of churchgoers into a multi-billion dollar business. For the mere sum of $500, a preacher would get his personal line to God and humbly (!) ask that He miraculously bring back your sickly Aunt Fay from the throes of cancer. Just like PBS, they also gave away gewgaws and books that had a markup that would give you whiplash...and you'd later find them at the cutout bins of your local bookstore for $5.
We agree with the Herald's take on communism: not merely did it resemble religion, but for many years, it was "the opiate of the masses" with such bibles as Das Kapital, The Communist Manifesto, Guerrilla Warfare, and many other tomes. Communism also had a branch of Catholicism called "liberation theology," which made Jesus not just a holy figure and the Son of God, but a Son of God who would be comfortable marching in the streets against any/all wars, and getting hauled off by the cops for interfering in military recruiting, releasing animals from their cages from research, hacking into banks and redistibuting money from billionaires and landing it into the bank accounts of the poor, or entering Wall Street and mistaking the men and women trading in polyester jackets and yelling "buy! sell!" for merchants trading in His Father's temple, and in turn smash trading boards, computers, and the like.
While we're at it, capitalism also has a religious component: many of the televangelists in the 1980s, such as Jim Bakker, Jimmy Swaggart, Jerry Falwell (and today, Benny Hinn) turned the concept of preaching the tenets of the Bible and Scripture to a modest group of churchgoers into a multi-billion dollar business. For the mere sum of $500, a preacher would get his personal line to God and humbly (!) ask that He miraculously bring back your sickly Aunt Fay from the throes of cancer. Just like PBS, they also gave away gewgaws and books that had a markup that would give you whiplash...and you'd later find them at the cutout bins of your local bookstore for $5.
5/14/2007
MK+A Wannabes pollute Newbury St and Boston
An MKA* Wannabe is a female, often between the ages of 15-34, whose uniform consists of the following:
- sunglasses, the larger the better, to hide bloodshot eyes from wild nights of partying and copious amounts of Red Bull and vodka
- torn denim or stretch skirts OR highwater pants OR capris
- nylon leggings (with or without pantyhose, nylon knee-highs, or cute socks)
- beat up Keds, flip-flops, kung-fu shoes, ballet flats, or stripper shoes with lucite heels
- bedhead, hair piled up in a messy bun, or cut in a Mia Farrow pixie
- Daddy's platinum AmEx
- A giant bag that could fit at least two small children, or one large child
- A cell phone (permanently glued to their ear)
- rich boyfriend OR metrosexual male friend (with or without "benefits") OR homosexual male friend (the more flamboyant and swishy the better)
Bostonia Rantida, as well as the rest of us, would love to see these MKA wannabes off Newbury Street - maybe taking off their bug-eye glasses and crushing them and watching their mascara track down their face and their pink frost lip gloss quivering along with their chin would be a sight to behold.
* Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen, the twins from Full House
- sunglasses, the larger the better, to hide bloodshot eyes from wild nights of partying and copious amounts of Red Bull and vodka
- torn denim or stretch skirts OR highwater pants OR capris
- nylon leggings (with or without pantyhose, nylon knee-highs, or cute socks)
- beat up Keds, flip-flops, kung-fu shoes, ballet flats, or stripper shoes with lucite heels
- bedhead, hair piled up in a messy bun, or cut in a Mia Farrow pixie
- Daddy's platinum AmEx
- A giant bag that could fit at least two small children, or one large child
- A cell phone (permanently glued to their ear)
- rich boyfriend OR metrosexual male friend (with or without "benefits") OR homosexual male friend (the more flamboyant and swishy the better)
Bostonia Rantida, as well as the rest of us, would love to see these MKA wannabes off Newbury Street - maybe taking off their bug-eye glasses and crushing them and watching their mascara track down their face and their pink frost lip gloss quivering along with their chin would be a sight to behold.
* Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen, the twins from Full House
5/13/2007
When your field trip involves flak jackets and a drill sergeant, don't sign the paper
After the Virginia Tech shootings, principals and teachers should at least discuss what to do if a gunman enters a school.
Reenactments involving Navy SEALs and Special Forces Units? Definitely not for elementary schools, or those "alternative" high schools for people who have intimate knowledge of high-powered weapons.
Reenactments involving Navy SEALs and Special Forces Units? Definitely not for elementary schools, or those "alternative" high schools for people who have intimate knowledge of high-powered weapons.
5/07/2007
The Two Three Sides of The Three Little Pigs...
One involves a wolf huffing and puffing and destroying ("blowing down") two of the three pigs' houses. Simple enough, and defying the test of time. The Brothers Grimm, in the German translation, have a more graphic version of the story, with the wolf meeting his end in a pot of boiling water.
The other may require record-breaking timeouts and a farewell to Library Lady for a spell if your four or five year old retells a racier version of The Three Little Pigs - complete with sounds and other graphic terms extremely not suitable for kids - that would make Howard Stern blush.
In Vermont and Brookline, however, the parents themselves would probably retell the story at home, making the wolf a martyr overlorded by the bourgeoisie pigs, and became a hero to oppressed predators by advocating armed revolution and burning the pigs alive. The brick house would be converted a palace for the wolf and his faithful cadre, and the wolf would quickly implement agrarian reform so that any pigs living would have to turn over their crops to the state, who would then distribute them between the party leaders and let the survivors starve of hunger. Then, a big bad chimp with a Texas accent would come in and tell the people that the wolf had WMD; his troops would surround the wolf's palace, and the people, sick and tired of the wolf's dictatorship (and the presses puff pieces on the wolf), would overthrow the wolf and destroy the printing presses of his fans. The wolf would be put into exile until he died of media neglect.
The other may require record-breaking timeouts and a farewell to Library Lady for a spell if your four or five year old retells a racier version of The Three Little Pigs - complete with sounds and other graphic terms extremely not suitable for kids - that would make Howard Stern blush.
In Vermont and Brookline, however, the parents themselves would probably retell the story at home, making the wolf a martyr overlorded by the bourgeoisie pigs, and became a hero to oppressed predators by advocating armed revolution and burning the pigs alive. The brick house would be converted a palace for the wolf and his faithful cadre, and the wolf would quickly implement agrarian reform so that any pigs living would have to turn over their crops to the state, who would then distribute them between the party leaders and let the survivors starve of hunger. Then, a big bad chimp with a Texas accent would come in and tell the people that the wolf had WMD; his troops would surround the wolf's palace, and the people, sick and tired of the wolf's dictatorship (and the presses puff pieces on the wolf), would overthrow the wolf and destroy the printing presses of his fans. The wolf would be put into exile until he died of media neglect.
5/05/2007
che: the warmongering, imperialist guerrilla with an appetite for murder
Reality check for those of you who like those che shirts so much: che was just as much a warmongering, imperialist guerrilla as those he laid blame on, i.e. The United States.
che guevara still remains among as the ultissimo rebel of the downtrodden, the disenfranchised, etc. che came from a rich Argentinian family, and became an insecure man and a coward who exploited the Cuban peasants for his own gain, and once they were under his spell, he systematically and brutally killed them on orders from fidel castro. And the damndest thing is, people still believe he's a hero, and are willing to plaster his mug on protest signs. Gee, do heroes advocate violent armed struggle these days? How about eliminating the writ of habeas corpus, and advocating that judicial law is an "archaic bourgeois detail?" The most frightening thing is that there are some people deep in the wealthiest circles of society who want to see the same thing happen in America - and plenty of useful idiots, such as celebrities, politicians, blogs, etc. would love to play judge, jury and executioner.
When che was captured by Bolivian forces, his bravado and hubris failed him as he whined, "Don't Shoot! I'm che! I'm worth more to you alive than dead!" Unfortunately for him, their policy was "Shoot, shovel, and shut-up."
UPDATE: That wily Aussie, Jules Crittenden, discovers our "Che With the Machine" article and shares it with his weblog. If you're a Jules Crittenden reader (or, in Alphie's case, a frequent critic), welcome!
che guevara still remains among as the ultissimo rebel of the downtrodden, the disenfranchised, etc. che came from a rich Argentinian family, and became an insecure man and a coward who exploited the Cuban peasants for his own gain, and once they were under his spell, he systematically and brutally killed them on orders from fidel castro. And the damndest thing is, people still believe he's a hero, and are willing to plaster his mug on protest signs. Gee, do heroes advocate violent armed struggle these days? How about eliminating the writ of habeas corpus, and advocating that judicial law is an "archaic bourgeois detail?" The most frightening thing is that there are some people deep in the wealthiest circles of society who want to see the same thing happen in America - and plenty of useful idiots, such as celebrities, politicians, blogs, etc. would love to play judge, jury and executioner.
When che was captured by Bolivian forces, his bravado and hubris failed him as he whined, "Don't Shoot! I'm che! I'm worth more to you alive than dead!" Unfortunately for him, their policy was "Shoot, shovel, and shut-up."
UPDATE: That wily Aussie, Jules Crittenden, discovers our "Che With the Machine" article and shares it with his weblog. If you're a Jules Crittenden reader (or, in Alphie's case, a frequent critic), welcome!
5/03/2007
Che with the Machine
When you get right down to it, there are several schools of thought on George W. Bush ("Dubya"):
1. Those who adore Dubya, and think those who hate him are anti-American traitors and communists who should be tried for treason and imprisoned for life.
2. Those who love Dubya, because he's a man who believes in his principles and sticks to them, and unlike those communist heathens who run the House and the Senate, he and Laura believe in America.
3. Those who like Dubya, even though we disagree sometimes with what he says or does. It seems he pays too much attention to one thing and not enough to another - just like his Dad.
4. Those who neither like nor hate Dubya, but realize that there have been better and/or worse presidents. C'mon, would you really want another Herbert Hoover, Jimmy Carter, or Richard Nixon - or would you prefer to clone JFK, Reagan or Clinton?
5. Those who don't like Dubya, but we would rather see other Republicans as President, like John McCain, Rudy Guiliani, and if we're really desperate, Pat Buchanan.
6. Those who don't like Dubya, but chose the lesser evil because the Dem candidates were duds. Dean was/is a loudmouth loose cannon, Gore and Kerry were/are boring, and (insert favorite deity or belief here) only knows what would happen under a Kucinich presidency.
7. Those who don't like Dubya, and don't like Republicans, but are moderate "blue dog" Democrats who hate the moonbat left wing who bought off the Democrats like a cheap prostitute - Joe Lieberman and Zell Miller, and maybe Jim Webb, former SecNav.
8. Those who hate Dubya, because they still hold the belief that he "stole the election" from Al Gore. Al Gore stopped the recount of the votes in Florida, but that would void their case for all those anti-Bush books and stickers. Once in awhile, they get this strange idea he's actually being controlled by the evil Dick Cheney and Karl Rove. On the other hand, they also think the moonbat left wing is too crazy for them, and that few non-binding resolutions and strong speeches will be fine - no need for him to be boiled in oil, put in stocks, and hung like a piece of beef jerky.
9. Those who loathe Dubya, because he's trying to kill their plans for a violent revolution to implement a neo-Soviet America - where the poor remain in poverty, the minorities will kowtow to the rich white bosses, and anyone who does not worship their socialist dogma to the very letter will be forcibly indoctrinated, outcast, or hurt. If you already believe in these tenets (or can fake them really, really well), they'll leave you alone, but prepare for pop quizzes.
10. Those who have absolute, all-consuming and total hatred for Dubya, and think those who love him are rich redneck Christian theocrats who should be tried, sentenced, and killed. They want total and absolute power, and they will stop and nothing until they get it. Their only focus is to put in a fidel-castro/hugo chavez like bully who will put those non-believers in hard labor camps until they either submit or die.
che guevara, the SOB who laughed when a reporter asked if Cuba would ever have free elections, would be proud to see his rabid fans recreate parts of 9 and 10. (Or at least have those them sell in the key of B flat minor for 99 cents at the iTunes store.)
4/25/2007
What's the validation code for "Absolute Sucker?"
The MSL is coming up with a brand new game to lighten the wallets of many a player...
The You've Got to Be Insane To Spend $20 on a Lottery Ticket Star Spangled Cash
is the name of this new game, and there will only be 4 million of these tickets sold, and may sell out quicker... because the grand prize is $20 million to be paid all at once; there are also 10 $1 million prizes and 40 $250,000 prizes. The lottery will get $80 million and pay out $40 million...making a neat profit of 50%. The only good thing about this is that the prizes will be paid out all at once, rather than the usual 20 year annuity.
However, you won't like the odds one bit.
Here's our suggestion...if you're going to sell $20 tickets, make every ticket a winner (i.e. odds of 1 in 1) - and all the prizes need not be cash, trips, cars, or "fantasy" stuff like Yankees/Sox games for a decade, with the ability to have the Jumbotron spell out your name. Gift cards, full four year scholarships to colleges of your choice, your mortgage or rent paid for life...or even a brand new home, everything paid (including property taxes)?
$20 million is nice, but not at $20 per ticket.
is the name of this new game, and there will only be 4 million of these tickets sold, and may sell out quicker... because the grand prize is $20 million to be paid all at once; there are also 10 $1 million prizes and 40 $250,000 prizes. The lottery will get $80 million and pay out $40 million...making a neat profit of 50%. The only good thing about this is that the prizes will be paid out all at once, rather than the usual 20 year annuity.
However, you won't like the odds one bit.
The odds of winning $20 million are 1:4,000,000; the odds of winning $1 million are 1:400,000; the odds of winning $250,000 are 1:100,000 and the overall odds of winning a prize in the “Star Spangled Sweepstakes” are 1:78,431.37.Excuse the heck out of us, but what would possess someone to pursue a game with odds of almost 1 in 79,000? Ah, yes, the lottery's PR tells the tale...
The odds of winning cash prizes of this magnitude are the best the Massachusetts Lottery has ever offered.Oh, really? We guess those $5 million prizes on those $10 instant tix mean little, huh? And for one freakin' drawing on July 4th!?
Here's our suggestion...if you're going to sell $20 tickets, make every ticket a winner (i.e. odds of 1 in 1) - and all the prizes need not be cash, trips, cars, or "fantasy" stuff like Yankees/Sox games for a decade, with the ability to have the Jumbotron spell out your name. Gift cards, full four year scholarships to colleges of your choice, your mortgage or rent paid for life...or even a brand new home, everything paid (including property taxes)?
$20 million is nice, but not at $20 per ticket.
4/22/2007
MSL's Instant Replay: did greed kill a good idea?
At the rate of 25 losing instant tickets to 1 fresh $1 ticket, the idea of helping the environment while giving you the chance to win money is a genius, thought the Massachusetts State Lottery. The amount of dead ticket trash recycled, plus the ability for ticket scavengers to win at least something for their rooting the barrels at convenience stores, benefitted everyone.
Unfortunately, when people began to bring in wheelbarrows and cases of losing tickets, the novelty wore off. One book of 300 fresh $1 tickets required 7500 losing tickets, and some people walked away with several books, only to regenerate new losing ticket trash and recycle those tickets for more new $1 tickets...so the MSL cut the vicious cycle of greed and said, "sorry, no Instant Replay for 2007, because it costs us too much to maintain the program."
Instead of giving away $1 instant tickets, they could have given away Lottery novelties and gift cards, and other more useful things, but it looks like greed on the part of players trumped the nice idea of recycling trash.
Unfortunately, when people began to bring in wheelbarrows and cases of losing tickets, the novelty wore off. One book of 300 fresh $1 tickets required 7500 losing tickets, and some people walked away with several books, only to regenerate new losing ticket trash and recycle those tickets for more new $1 tickets...so the MSL cut the vicious cycle of greed and said, "sorry, no Instant Replay for 2007, because it costs us too much to maintain the program."
Instead of giving away $1 instant tickets, they could have given away Lottery novelties and gift cards, and other more useful things, but it looks like greed on the part of players trumped the nice idea of recycling trash.
4/21/2007
Chez ain't happy about the NBC coverage...
Chez from Deus Ex Malconent rips NBC a new one (language!) over broadcasting the Cho Manifesto, i.e. "I'm going to blow away 32 Virginia Tech students and then hope I'm a hero to social misfits and angry loners worldwide by blaming rich white people." Or, following the quote below...
"The only difference between suicide and martyrdom is press coverage."
-- Chuck Palahniuk (Fight Club)
4/20/2007
The UGGS Bunnies shed their pupae to become SJBP Princesses
Maybe they migrated to UGGS-land for the winter, but now they're being replaced by the SJBF (skinny jeans and ballet flats) Princesses. Once in a while, you can see a hint of nylon in their legs but often it's bare or covered by the giant cuff of the skinny jean.
Critical Fluff doesn't have much use for SJBF Princesses either, or alternative grains like quinoa or spelt (can't mix the Bible with heathen organic foods). Sweet potato pancakes all around!
Critical Fluff doesn't have much use for SJBF Princesses either, or alternative grains like quinoa or spelt (can't mix the Bible with heathen organic foods). Sweet potato pancakes all around!
Only In Virginia Tech (Today We're All Hokies)...
You may or may not agree with NBC's broadcasting of Cho-Seung Hui's "manifesto," but in some cases, it's better to identify what evil really looks like and learn how avoid it in the future than to deny that evil exists. If you deny that evil exists (such as insisting that killing 33 people was an act of mental illness and not just of pre-meditated, narcissistic, cold blooded murder) and you're not willing to stand up to it, then don't be surprised when evil finally comes and you can't escape it. If you agree that evil exists and you're willing to do everything in its path to defend yourself against it, then don't be surprised when the people who were under evil's spell and couldn't escape it lauds you as a liberator.
One interesting article comes from James Lewis...most of the teachers had genuine fear that Cho would snap, but there might have been a few professors who figured to lard up Cho with their angry, bitter, narcissistic teachings...y'know, as a dry run for the armed revolutions they yearn to undertake when that impeachment thing is stopped dead in its tracks.
One interesting article comes from James Lewis...most of the teachers had genuine fear that Cho would snap, but there might have been a few professors who figured to lard up Cho with their angry, bitter, narcissistic teachings...y'know, as a dry run for the armed revolutions they yearn to undertake when that impeachment thing is stopped dead in its tracks.
Give Vermont back to the Vermonters, you illegal occupiers from the Upper West Side!
Native Vermonters, unite! Stand tall and oust the yuppies, hippies, socialists, members of the legislature who think Bush and Cheney should be impeached...bring your pitchforks, key the Priuses, bring dogs to Ben and Jerry's plant to add extra oomph to Chunky Monkey and a little tang to Cherry Garcia...take your wild children to break up the art galleries and antique shops...and send them back to the Upper West Side of Manhattan where they belong!
4/18/2007
Malignant narcissism, fired through the point of a gun
We will tell you that it is not easy blogging about the Virginia Tech murders. We're not Dr. Phil nor are we psychologists. The murders bring back memories of 9/11/2001, when confusion and frustration reigned, and everyone seemed to concentrate on dead bodies and fear, rather than people getting out and being in safety. While administrators and police were in mass confusion on how to handle the situation, students were locked down. A brave teacher who survived the Holocaust sacrificed his life for his students, who managed to escape. The numbers could have been much higher than 33, had the shooter not taken his own life.
If there was ever a grand manifestation of malignant narcissism, the murders of 33 VT students certainly qualifies. Narcissism - the act of elevating yourself to a God-like status - is bad enough. Malignant narcissism takes it to a frighteningly dangerous, cult-like height. Dictators in the world didn't get evil reputations by being milquetoasts. The world's worst cult figures and dictators have brought malignant narcissism to the forefront, thinly disguised as charisma. Often, charisma can bring about good feelings among people without making them feel at the edge. Malignant narcissism makes people wonder if they can survive the day without angering the "powers that be."
Cho Seung-Hui managed to prove how dangerous malignant narcissism can be. He could have kept himself quiet and out of the way, but there were too many warning signs around him. The violent plays, the self-indulgent manifestos, blaming everyone else, and scaring everyone in the campus with his antisocial and violent fantasies catapulted Cho into a notoriety only reserved for cold-blooded assassins and the most evil of evil incarnate. Cho discharged his malignant narcissism through the barrel of a gun before turning it on himself, itself a selfish and pitiful act that will gain him no fans.
Cho's actions also brought up new - and hysterical - calls for gun control. In this age of political correctness and passive submission, the last thing we should be doing is trying to take the ability to practice self-defense, with or without weapons, away from those who know its power and use it with extensive training, a sharp mindset, and utmost discrimination, and only when in extreme danger. Cho could never have "engaged in a dialogue" and appeased to stop shooting. No skilled hostage negotiator would have survived five seconds attempting to quell Cho, as Cho's mindset was stuck on killing as many of his purported targets as possible. No politician, no lobby group, and no non-governmental organization could have come to the campus and convinced Cho that "shooting was not the answer." To Cho, shooting was an answer, and the only solution, to his problems.
The Virginia Tech students - still shaken to the core by these acts of domestic terrorism - are putting the blame for this right where it belongs: on Cho. The students could have taken the easy way out and blamed his actions on convenient bugaboos, and tied it up with calling for resignations and arrests of politicians who didn't protect them sufficiently. They could have also allied themselves with other groups with PhD's in quack religion, agitation and troublemaking, pouring gasoline into an already heady fire. They could have also elevated Cho to a legend, a martyr, and an anti-hero. They could have also easily denied that "shootings only happen in urban areas with high crime" as easily as they can order a coffee at Starbucks. When that reality comes to rural areas, that cant phrase makes obvious the utter denial of fools who try to wish things away, like conflict and war.
The VT students chose to band together instead, similar to 9/11/01. They bypassed the easy sound bites for something more concrete and difficult: moving on after these murders. They will attend funerals, light candles, and talk to psychologists, and deal with nightmares, each less vivid than the next. They will move on, wary that the next Cho will be in their midst, and not necessarily on their college campus.
If there was ever a grand manifestation of malignant narcissism, the murders of 33 VT students certainly qualifies. Narcissism - the act of elevating yourself to a God-like status - is bad enough. Malignant narcissism takes it to a frighteningly dangerous, cult-like height. Dictators in the world didn't get evil reputations by being milquetoasts. The world's worst cult figures and dictators have brought malignant narcissism to the forefront, thinly disguised as charisma. Often, charisma can bring about good feelings among people without making them feel at the edge. Malignant narcissism makes people wonder if they can survive the day without angering the "powers that be."
Cho Seung-Hui managed to prove how dangerous malignant narcissism can be. He could have kept himself quiet and out of the way, but there were too many warning signs around him. The violent plays, the self-indulgent manifestos, blaming everyone else, and scaring everyone in the campus with his antisocial and violent fantasies catapulted Cho into a notoriety only reserved for cold-blooded assassins and the most evil of evil incarnate. Cho discharged his malignant narcissism through the barrel of a gun before turning it on himself, itself a selfish and pitiful act that will gain him no fans.
Cho's actions also brought up new - and hysterical - calls for gun control. In this age of political correctness and passive submission, the last thing we should be doing is trying to take the ability to practice self-defense, with or without weapons, away from those who know its power and use it with extensive training, a sharp mindset, and utmost discrimination, and only when in extreme danger. Cho could never have "engaged in a dialogue" and appeased to stop shooting. No skilled hostage negotiator would have survived five seconds attempting to quell Cho, as Cho's mindset was stuck on killing as many of his purported targets as possible. No politician, no lobby group, and no non-governmental organization could have come to the campus and convinced Cho that "shooting was not the answer." To Cho, shooting was an answer, and the only solution, to his problems.
The Virginia Tech students - still shaken to the core by these acts of domestic terrorism - are putting the blame for this right where it belongs: on Cho. The students could have taken the easy way out and blamed his actions on convenient bugaboos, and tied it up with calling for resignations and arrests of politicians who didn't protect them sufficiently. They could have also allied themselves with other groups with PhD's in quack religion, agitation and troublemaking, pouring gasoline into an already heady fire. They could have also elevated Cho to a legend, a martyr, and an anti-hero. They could have also easily denied that "shootings only happen in urban areas with high crime" as easily as they can order a coffee at Starbucks. When that reality comes to rural areas, that cant phrase makes obvious the utter denial of fools who try to wish things away, like conflict and war.
The VT students chose to band together instead, similar to 9/11/01. They bypassed the easy sound bites for something more concrete and difficult: moving on after these murders. They will attend funerals, light candles, and talk to psychologists, and deal with nightmares, each less vivid than the next. They will move on, wary that the next Cho will be in their midst, and not necessarily on their college campus.
4/16/2007
Thumbs up to the BAA: keep the early marathons, please!
When the Marathon was moved from 12 noon to 9:35am, we noticed the following good things:
- Hardly any traffic in the morning (a windy, rainy, yucky day helps; so does April School vacation)
- No amateur runners in wrapped in mylar blankets, loitering around the train station
- The broadcasters seemed a little more subdued - no 'it's almost noon time' cheerleading or tearjerker stories (we'll take the ones where the runner had a really nasty disease and beat it, and are back to their old selves)
- Back Bay/Downtown area: clean as a whistle by 4:00pm
- Never knock Kenya - 15 out of 17 years as winners
- No drunks or college kids to be found
- Hardly any traffic in the morning (a windy, rainy, yucky day helps; so does April School vacation)
- No amateur runners in wrapped in mylar blankets, loitering around the train station
- The broadcasters seemed a little more subdued - no 'it's almost noon time' cheerleading or tearjerker stories (we'll take the ones where the runner had a really nasty disease and beat it, and are back to their old selves)
- Back Bay/Downtown area: clean as a whistle by 4:00pm
- Never knock Kenya - 15 out of 17 years as winners
- No drunks or college kids to be found
4/15/2007
White guilt and control freaks are "retarded"
"Retarded" is a politically incorrect word - only if you use it incorrectly. If you're growing tomato plants and the growth has slowed down to a yield of maybe one or two green tomatoes, that's the correct use of the word "retarded." If you don't like your teacher, or your friends did something unusual, then you can jokingly use "retarded" among yourselves. (Just don't use it on a talk radio program to refer to one of your rivals or like-minded guests.)
The gray area occurs when someone has Down's syndrome or any other developmental deficiency. The correct way might be to use the syndrome connected to the person. Using PC terms like "differently abled" might elicit eye rolls and even more questions you might feel uncomfortable answering.
The incorrect way to illustrate that "retarded" may not be helpful? Having an arrogant, elitist tone to dictate to others how someone should talk, while attempting to relieve your own guilt (see "The Right Response?")
Having two last names separated by a hyphen and plagiarizing a PBS slogan doesn't help either, and using Paris Hilton as an example is no excuse.
The gray area occurs when someone has Down's syndrome or any other developmental deficiency. The correct way might be to use the syndrome connected to the person. Using PC terms like "differently abled" might elicit eye rolls and even more questions you might feel uncomfortable answering.
The incorrect way to illustrate that "retarded" may not be helpful? Having an arrogant, elitist tone to dictate to others how someone should talk, while attempting to relieve your own guilt (see "The Right Response?")
Having two last names separated by a hyphen and plagiarizing a PBS slogan doesn't help either, and using Paris Hilton as an example is no excuse.
4/04/2007
Munchkins and Bob Ross trade burnt sienna for yellow ochre on I-495
"Follow the yellow brick road? That's not a bad idea for a painting...let me go back and get some pthatlo blue, titanium white, Van Dyke green, and the blood of the Wicked Witch of the East we'll paint some happy trees on the way to the yellow brick road."
Bob Ross, gentle painter, gentle man, and sometimes a little on the wicked side.
Bob Ross, gentle painter, gentle man, and sometimes a little on the wicked side.
3/31/2007
Upscale parents and elitists love Lecommunist Blocs!
Yes, comrades, it's Lecommunist Blocs, the new toy that's sweeping socially conscious and rich, guilty, white neighborhoods across the nation!
You can make real-life Soviet-era apartments for the serfs, complete with listening devices so that the Kremlin can hear every word (and squelch any dissent)!
Gulags...hard labor camps...Communist Party chambers...swank party member palaces...hotels for useful idiot celebrities...even Josef Stalin himself can be built with Lecommunist Blocs!
Each set comes with precisely 100 pieces, all colored gray and all the same size. They are to be distributed ten pieces per person, or else the Secret Police may take you in for "having too many pieces."
Act now, and we'll throw in How To Overthrow the Imperialist Amerikkkans And Avoid Treason and Jail Time* for free. We'll also give you How Rich White Guilty People Can Be Duped Into Hard Line Communism By Convincing Them It's "Social Justice" plus a few "secret" Lecommunist Blocs (the colored ones only Party Leaders have!)
* For residents of Seattle, Madison, San Francisco, Berkeley, Cambridge, Santa Cruz and Austin: we will substitute this book with Hate America, Love the Money for an additional $2.95.
You can make real-life Soviet-era apartments for the serfs, complete with listening devices so that the Kremlin can hear every word (and squelch any dissent)!
Gulags...hard labor camps...Communist Party chambers...swank party member palaces...hotels for useful idiot celebrities...even Josef Stalin himself can be built with Lecommunist Blocs!
Each set comes with precisely 100 pieces, all colored gray and all the same size. They are to be distributed ten pieces per person, or else the Secret Police may take you in for "having too many pieces."
Act now, and we'll throw in How To Overthrow the Imperialist Amerikkkans And Avoid Treason and Jail Time* for free. We'll also give you How Rich White Guilty People Can Be Duped Into Hard Line Communism By Convincing Them It's "Social Justice" plus a few "secret" Lecommunist Blocs (the colored ones only Party Leaders have!)
* For residents of Seattle, Madison, San Francisco, Berkeley, Cambridge, Santa Cruz and Austin: we will substitute this book with Hate America, Love the Money for an additional $2.95.
Make Income Redistribution History, Backwards Sherwood Forest edition
Boston Magazine's John Wolfson does an excellent piece on how the Massachusetts State Lottery is the ultimate redistribution scheme: it takes money from the poor - earned or paid by the government - and gives it to the government, who then distributes it to all 351 cities and towns in the form of lottery aid.
The shiny new fire engine in Weston? Thank the people in West Roxbury who shelled out $300 on a book of scratch tickets and ended up winning a mere $75-80. Newburyport gets to avoid a property tax override because the residents of Lawrence were able to spend 2/3 of their paycheck on Keno. And the city of Lynn probably financed new teachers, firemen, policemen, and other public works for Swampscott, Marblehead, and very small Western New England towns that have all but one Lottery agent, if any.
And, of course, the other people who depend on the poor's paychecks - the ones that have low if not nil Massachusetts state income taxes - is the Legislature, who will happily recoup the monies given in Medicaid, WIC payments, and other government payments in the form of Lottery revenues; if you can entice a poor person to whom you're shelling out benefits to try to become rich and get rid of welfare/debt through the path of least resistance, rather than hard work and education, chances are they'll take the bait...and continue being poor, if not penniless.
The right way to show the poor that the lottery is not the best investment scheme is to show them the real odds of some of these games, not the odds the Lottery promotes*. Treat the Lottery like the do cigarettes, drugs and alcohol - it's a vice, a stupid tax, it's legalized robbery - and make it unattractive and nasty. Reducing the prize payouts from a liberal 71% to a more realistic 52-55%, posting the real odds on the backs of tickets, and showing exactly what taxes will be taken out and how much the prizes are really worth will make the poor think twice on buying a strip of tickets, eliminating or hiding the verification codes on scratch tickets, introducing harder, more complex scratch games (Bingo is a good start), and reducing promotion and public relations may diminish that bromide "You Have to Play" to "Do You Really Want to Waste Your Money On This Scheme?"
So robbing Peter to pay Paul, and then having Paul give back all of his money and arrive in Peter's lap is an "opiate of the masses" that benefits only two people - the wealthy and the government.
*For instant tickets, the odds are calculated by taking the number of tickets and dividing them by the total number of tickets available for that game. For example, the new Red Sox $10 ticket is listed by the MSL as having odds of 1 in 3.55. This is actually correct - if you consider how the prize is paid out (e.g. for $20, you get get $20, two $10's, $10 plus two $5's, etc. and each prize has different odds; the odds of getting $20 as a single value is tougher than getting 4 $5's.) We took their odds and ran it through an Excel spreadsheet, and it indeed came out to 1 in 3.55.
Then we asked ourselves what the odds were on getting a certain prize without regards to how the prize is paid (e.g. a $50 prize, no matter how it came out). We noticed that the total odds for a certain prizes actually went down - but the total odds went up! To get any prize on this new ticket, the real odds are 1 in 74.56 - roughly 21 times more than the Lottery advertises! The Lottery also states "you have the best chance to win $100!" Not quite...the odds of winning $100 on that ticket are actually 1 in 54.84. In a book of 100 tickets, this comes out to a ticket, maybe two, giving you that magic $100.
And for the people who think they'll get that $1 million on that scratch ticket they bought all at once, tax-free, think again: 30% in taxes are taken out automatically for all winnings over $5,000, and anything over $600 - $4,999 gets 5% taken by the Commonwealth (since 2004; before then, anything under $5,000 merely had to be reported to the IRS and no mass taxes were taken out).
The shiny new fire engine in Weston? Thank the people in West Roxbury who shelled out $300 on a book of scratch tickets and ended up winning a mere $75-80. Newburyport gets to avoid a property tax override because the residents of Lawrence were able to spend 2/3 of their paycheck on Keno. And the city of Lynn probably financed new teachers, firemen, policemen, and other public works for Swampscott, Marblehead, and very small Western New England towns that have all but one Lottery agent, if any.
And, of course, the other people who depend on the poor's paychecks - the ones that have low if not nil Massachusetts state income taxes - is the Legislature, who will happily recoup the monies given in Medicaid, WIC payments, and other government payments in the form of Lottery revenues; if you can entice a poor person to whom you're shelling out benefits to try to become rich and get rid of welfare/debt through the path of least resistance, rather than hard work and education, chances are they'll take the bait...and continue being poor, if not penniless.
The right way to show the poor that the lottery is not the best investment scheme is to show them the real odds of some of these games, not the odds the Lottery promotes*. Treat the Lottery like the do cigarettes, drugs and alcohol - it's a vice, a stupid tax, it's legalized robbery - and make it unattractive and nasty. Reducing the prize payouts from a liberal 71% to a more realistic 52-55%, posting the real odds on the backs of tickets, and showing exactly what taxes will be taken out and how much the prizes are really worth will make the poor think twice on buying a strip of tickets, eliminating or hiding the verification codes on scratch tickets, introducing harder, more complex scratch games (Bingo is a good start), and reducing promotion and public relations may diminish that bromide "You Have to Play" to "Do You Really Want to Waste Your Money On This Scheme?"
So robbing Peter to pay Paul, and then having Paul give back all of his money and arrive in Peter's lap is an "opiate of the masses" that benefits only two people - the wealthy and the government.
*For instant tickets, the odds are calculated by taking the number of tickets and dividing them by the total number of tickets available for that game. For example, the new Red Sox $10 ticket is listed by the MSL as having odds of 1 in 3.55. This is actually correct - if you consider how the prize is paid out (e.g. for $20, you get get $20, two $10's, $10 plus two $5's, etc. and each prize has different odds; the odds of getting $20 as a single value is tougher than getting 4 $5's.) We took their odds and ran it through an Excel spreadsheet, and it indeed came out to 1 in 3.55.
Then we asked ourselves what the odds were on getting a certain prize without regards to how the prize is paid (e.g. a $50 prize, no matter how it came out). We noticed that the total odds for a certain prizes actually went down - but the total odds went up! To get any prize on this new ticket, the real odds are 1 in 74.56 - roughly 21 times more than the Lottery advertises! The Lottery also states "you have the best chance to win $100!" Not quite...the odds of winning $100 on that ticket are actually 1 in 54.84. In a book of 100 tickets, this comes out to a ticket, maybe two, giving you that magic $100.
And for the people who think they'll get that $1 million on that scratch ticket they bought all at once, tax-free, think again: 30% in taxes are taken out automatically for all winnings over $5,000, and anything over $600 - $4,999 gets 5% taken by the Commonwealth (since 2004; before then, anything under $5,000 merely had to be reported to the IRS and no mass taxes were taken out).
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