If you hate the nanny state - one in which the government, in full control freak mode, wags their fingers when you do something they don't approve of - Star Parker highlights a "woman [who] really hates freedom and has little appreciation that an ownership society and a 'we’re all in it together society' go hand in hand."
If you're a control freak, maybe the way she controls will cure you of being a control freak. Or give her some pointers.
5/30/2007
Summer fashion blunders and how to avoid them
We know the hazy, hot and humid days of summer are upon the city, and while we are not fashion gurus ourselves (at least not in the class of the Herald's Ivana Martini, snicker), we want to point out a few things to our esteemed readers.
1. Gals: we understand completely that you've been wanting to get your legs out of their stuffy nylon-covered cocoon for six months and into an airy pair of flip-flops or sandals. We also understand that there are some places that require such torture devices to be worn, and that sometimes "less is more" (e.g. the longer the skirt, the better you can get away with a pair of cheap CVS knee-high nylons; summer weight pantyhose or ultra-sheer is also a good idea). But one thing is for certain - ankle-high nylons are for grandmas or for longer pants - not those gaucho pants that come up to your kneecaps. Ankle-highs are not for long, flowing peasant skirts with embroidered backless ballet flats. For an alternative to the dreaded pantyhose , thigh-highs (aka holdups) are a super bet and can be subtle, yet sexy. Just make sure you're not allergic to silicone. If you really want to go all out, hop over to Victoria's Secret, buy a garter belt, and a pair of real stockings. Again, subtle, yet sexy and much cooler than pantyhose.
2. Guys: Slathering on patchouli oil, deodorant, or cologne doesn't take the place of a hot shower. Nothing ruins a good summer wardrobe than smelling like a walking advertisement for Polo Green or BO. Shower as frequently as you can - whatever you do after that is your business. Also, if the only six-pack you possess is the one you grab out of the package store for a party, along with all sorts of party snacks, leave the shirt on or lose the weight. Polo shirts - always good; we live in them 24/7/365. Shorts - always good, just make sure they don't skim the ground, or they aren't shorts. And underwear - a must.
3. If you're going for the urban cowgirl look - denim skirt, cowboy boots, and cowboy shirt, please delete the nylon knee highs or hide them in your boots so they don't distract from the look. (Actually, this would be much better use for ankle-high nylons, even if you're wearing a long peasant skirt. Never go sockless - it causes chafing and makes the boots much harder to get off.) Ditto for the urban cowboy look - nothing screams "urban poseur" like dressing up like Kenny Chesney and then wearing beat up Chuck Taylors.
4. We know there are some people who are still mourning the passing of Crocodile Hunter™ Steve Irwin. If Steve were to see what one young "sheila" wore at the Brugger's Bagels in Harvard Square this morning - something that would remind us of a Steve he would likely bolt down from the heavens and scream, "Crikey! Even my daughter Bindi wouldn't even dream of putting that jumble together! The beige-colored boots are awful - my wife Terri would lock you in with the crocodiles...that's if the crocodiles weren't laughing their heads off!" Jules Crittenden would summarize thus: "Carnival of Insanities - Only in Boston sees national treasure Steve Irwin reincarnated as willowy brunette with boots...conjures spirit of Irwin and gets hit by lightning."
1. Gals: we understand completely that you've been wanting to get your legs out of their stuffy nylon-covered cocoon for six months and into an airy pair of flip-flops or sandals. We also understand that there are some places that require such torture devices to be worn, and that sometimes "less is more" (e.g. the longer the skirt, the better you can get away with a pair of cheap CVS knee-high nylons; summer weight pantyhose or ultra-sheer is also a good idea). But one thing is for certain - ankle-high nylons are for grandmas or for longer pants - not those gaucho pants that come up to your kneecaps. Ankle-highs are not for long, flowing peasant skirts with embroidered backless ballet flats. For an alternative to the dreaded pantyhose , thigh-highs (aka holdups) are a super bet and can be subtle, yet sexy. Just make sure you're not allergic to silicone. If you really want to go all out, hop over to Victoria's Secret, buy a garter belt, and a pair of real stockings. Again, subtle, yet sexy and much cooler than pantyhose.
2. Guys: Slathering on patchouli oil, deodorant, or cologne doesn't take the place of a hot shower. Nothing ruins a good summer wardrobe than smelling like a walking advertisement for Polo Green or BO. Shower as frequently as you can - whatever you do after that is your business. Also, if the only six-pack you possess is the one you grab out of the package store for a party, along with all sorts of party snacks, leave the shirt on or lose the weight. Polo shirts - always good; we live in them 24/7/365. Shorts - always good, just make sure they don't skim the ground, or they aren't shorts. And underwear - a must.
3. If you're going for the urban cowgirl look - denim skirt, cowboy boots, and cowboy shirt, please delete the nylon knee highs or hide them in your boots so they don't distract from the look. (Actually, this would be much better use for ankle-high nylons, even if you're wearing a long peasant skirt. Never go sockless - it causes chafing and makes the boots much harder to get off.) Ditto for the urban cowboy look - nothing screams "urban poseur" like dressing up like Kenny Chesney and then wearing beat up Chuck Taylors.
4. We know there are some people who are still mourning the passing of Crocodile Hunter™ Steve Irwin. If Steve were to see what one young "sheila" wore at the Brugger's Bagels in Harvard Square this morning - something that would remind us of a Steve he would likely bolt down from the heavens and scream, "Crikey! Even my daughter Bindi wouldn't even dream of putting that jumble together! The beige-colored boots are awful - my wife Terri would lock you in with the crocodiles...that's if the crocodiles weren't laughing their heads off!" Jules Crittenden would summarize thus: "Carnival of Insanities - Only in Boston sees national treasure Steve Irwin reincarnated as willowy brunette with boots...conjures spirit of Irwin and gets hit by lightning."
5/26/2007
SCAM ALERT - Back Bay Station
WARNING FOR PEOPLE WHO USE BACK BAY STATION:
We know this is a long weekend, and with the nice weather everyone from the suburbs is streaming in to enjoy it.
Our experience involved a casually dressed young woman, white, slightly chubby about the mid-to-older 20s, asking us for change at the Station News Store.
When we responded by walking briskly away, she sneered, "go ahead, run away." Then she tried to approach us, AGAIN, until we shouted in a loud voice why she would be begging for change in a store. We actually repeated it twice so the cashier(s) could hear us and get attention, as it looked like there was another taller man accompanying her.
Had it been the Spare Change Guy, he would have simply gone onto the next person to give him change. Had it been another homeless person, many would simply say, "God Bless," even if you didn't have the money. When a damsel in distress says "go ahead, run away," and then attempts to approach you a second time, perhaps with a few accomplices, it's a sign that she's looking to help herself to a lot more than your change - and perhaps use her accomplices for compliance.
This is a scam. If you are ever approached by a person for help, and something isn't kosher or makes you very uncomfortable, say nothing, leave quickly, and contact the police. Put as much distance between you and the person as feasibly possible. If possible, attract attention to your situation so the proper authorities can be contacted.
We want to put this out as a public service, as we could have very well been robbed, or worse, injured. Tourists to the Boston area deserve to be as safe as possible, and we want to make sure they leave here with a good impression - not one where Boston is a place where scammers relieve them of their wallets and our good image.
We know this is a long weekend, and with the nice weather everyone from the suburbs is streaming in to enjoy it.
Our experience involved a casually dressed young woman, white, slightly chubby about the mid-to-older 20s, asking us for change at the Station News Store.
When we responded by walking briskly away, she sneered, "go ahead, run away." Then she tried to approach us, AGAIN, until we shouted in a loud voice why she would be begging for change in a store. We actually repeated it twice so the cashier(s) could hear us and get attention, as it looked like there was another taller man accompanying her.
Had it been the Spare Change Guy, he would have simply gone onto the next person to give him change. Had it been another homeless person, many would simply say, "God Bless," even if you didn't have the money. When a damsel in distress says "go ahead, run away," and then attempts to approach you a second time, perhaps with a few accomplices, it's a sign that she's looking to help herself to a lot more than your change - and perhaps use her accomplices for compliance.
This is a scam. If you are ever approached by a person for help, and something isn't kosher or makes you very uncomfortable, say nothing, leave quickly, and contact the police. Put as much distance between you and the person as feasibly possible. If possible, attract attention to your situation so the proper authorities can be contacted.
We want to put this out as a public service, as we could have very well been robbed, or worse, injured. Tourists to the Boston area deserve to be as safe as possible, and we want to make sure they leave here with a good impression - not one where Boston is a place where scammers relieve them of their wallets and our good image.
5/22/2007
Bloggers for Cuban Liberty...¡ahora!
To our friends over at Babalu Blog: after we saw that Iberia airlines ad, we "leenkasoed" to the BUCL.
In fact, we're glad that the United States does have a blockade on Cuba, because we wouldn't want to visit Cuba or get its "wonderful, world class" healthcare - a bandaid, and maybe Pepto, if we're lucky. (Perhaps the guilty white people who hate America like it, only because they're gullible enough to believe it.)
In fact, we're glad that the United States does have a blockade on Cuba, because we wouldn't want to visit Cuba or get its "wonderful, world class" healthcare - a bandaid, and maybe Pepto, if we're lucky. (Perhaps the guilty white people who hate America like it, only because they're gullible enough to believe it.)
5/21/2007
"[O]rganic" is really just code for "awesome marketing idea."
When you buy organic foodstuffs, what are you really paying for?
- The notion that the item does not contain unhealthy additives, is raised in a favorable environment that doesn't use harmful chemicals, employs persons that are paid a fair and decent wage and are not exploited by their employers, and is processed in such a manner that it is fresh from the moment the item is selected from a careful worker, right to the point of consumption?
- The notion that only the elite (i.e. yuppies) can pay an extra 25-50% premium on things that the lower and middle classes couldn't even understand; i.e. what minimum wage slave would ever step foot into an health food cooperative, blow a quarter of their paycheck on bananas they'll let rot and throw out, and then turn around and blow the other parts of their paycheck on McDonalds, Walmart, and the cell phone they have glued to their ear?
- The notion that no one understands "organic" food except really finicky eaters, militant vegans, and yuppies, and the rest of us are happy with the non-organic stuff anyway because it's cheaper.
- The notion that the item does not contain unhealthy additives, is raised in a favorable environment that doesn't use harmful chemicals, employs persons that are paid a fair and decent wage and are not exploited by their employers, and is processed in such a manner that it is fresh from the moment the item is selected from a careful worker, right to the point of consumption?
- The notion that only the elite (i.e. yuppies) can pay an extra 25-50% premium on things that the lower and middle classes couldn't even understand; i.e. what minimum wage slave would ever step foot into an health food cooperative, blow a quarter of their paycheck on bananas they'll let rot and throw out, and then turn around and blow the other parts of their paycheck on McDonalds, Walmart, and the cell phone they have glued to their ear?
- The notion that no one understands "organic" food except really finicky eaters, militant vegans, and yuppies, and the rest of us are happy with the non-organic stuff anyway because it's cheaper.
5/19/2007
Communism laughed at God, capitalism makes Him a tax-exempt business
The Boston Herald has a good editorial about Pope Benedict's visit to Brazil, and His Holiness' comment that neither communism nor capitalism were the solution to the world's ills.
We agree with the Herald's take on communism: not merely did it resemble religion, but for many years, it was "the opiate of the masses" with such bibles as Das Kapital, The Communist Manifesto, Guerrilla Warfare, and many other tomes. Communism also had a branch of Catholicism called "liberation theology," which made Jesus not just a holy figure and the Son of God, but a Son of God who would be comfortable marching in the streets against any/all wars, and getting hauled off by the cops for interfering in military recruiting, releasing animals from their cages from research, hacking into banks and redistibuting money from billionaires and landing it into the bank accounts of the poor, or entering Wall Street and mistaking the men and women trading in polyester jackets and yelling "buy! sell!" for merchants trading in His Father's temple, and in turn smash trading boards, computers, and the like.
While we're at it, capitalism also has a religious component: many of the televangelists in the 1980s, such as Jim Bakker, Jimmy Swaggart, Jerry Falwell (and today, Benny Hinn) turned the concept of preaching the tenets of the Bible and Scripture to a modest group of churchgoers into a multi-billion dollar business. For the mere sum of $500, a preacher would get his personal line to God and humbly (!) ask that He miraculously bring back your sickly Aunt Fay from the throes of cancer. Just like PBS, they also gave away gewgaws and books that had a markup that would give you whiplash...and you'd later find them at the cutout bins of your local bookstore for $5.
We agree with the Herald's take on communism: not merely did it resemble religion, but for many years, it was "the opiate of the masses" with such bibles as Das Kapital, The Communist Manifesto, Guerrilla Warfare, and many other tomes. Communism also had a branch of Catholicism called "liberation theology," which made Jesus not just a holy figure and the Son of God, but a Son of God who would be comfortable marching in the streets against any/all wars, and getting hauled off by the cops for interfering in military recruiting, releasing animals from their cages from research, hacking into banks and redistibuting money from billionaires and landing it into the bank accounts of the poor, or entering Wall Street and mistaking the men and women trading in polyester jackets and yelling "buy! sell!" for merchants trading in His Father's temple, and in turn smash trading boards, computers, and the like.
While we're at it, capitalism also has a religious component: many of the televangelists in the 1980s, such as Jim Bakker, Jimmy Swaggart, Jerry Falwell (and today, Benny Hinn) turned the concept of preaching the tenets of the Bible and Scripture to a modest group of churchgoers into a multi-billion dollar business. For the mere sum of $500, a preacher would get his personal line to God and humbly (!) ask that He miraculously bring back your sickly Aunt Fay from the throes of cancer. Just like PBS, they also gave away gewgaws and books that had a markup that would give you whiplash...and you'd later find them at the cutout bins of your local bookstore for $5.
5/14/2007
MK+A Wannabes pollute Newbury St and Boston
An MKA* Wannabe is a female, often between the ages of 15-34, whose uniform consists of the following:
- sunglasses, the larger the better, to hide bloodshot eyes from wild nights of partying and copious amounts of Red Bull and vodka
- torn denim or stretch skirts OR highwater pants OR capris
- nylon leggings (with or without pantyhose, nylon knee-highs, or cute socks)
- beat up Keds, flip-flops, kung-fu shoes, ballet flats, or stripper shoes with lucite heels
- bedhead, hair piled up in a messy bun, or cut in a Mia Farrow pixie
- Daddy's platinum AmEx
- A giant bag that could fit at least two small children, or one large child
- A cell phone (permanently glued to their ear)
- rich boyfriend OR metrosexual male friend (with or without "benefits") OR homosexual male friend (the more flamboyant and swishy the better)
Bostonia Rantida, as well as the rest of us, would love to see these MKA wannabes off Newbury Street - maybe taking off their bug-eye glasses and crushing them and watching their mascara track down their face and their pink frost lip gloss quivering along with their chin would be a sight to behold.
* Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen, the twins from Full House
- sunglasses, the larger the better, to hide bloodshot eyes from wild nights of partying and copious amounts of Red Bull and vodka
- torn denim or stretch skirts OR highwater pants OR capris
- nylon leggings (with or without pantyhose, nylon knee-highs, or cute socks)
- beat up Keds, flip-flops, kung-fu shoes, ballet flats, or stripper shoes with lucite heels
- bedhead, hair piled up in a messy bun, or cut in a Mia Farrow pixie
- Daddy's platinum AmEx
- A giant bag that could fit at least two small children, or one large child
- A cell phone (permanently glued to their ear)
- rich boyfriend OR metrosexual male friend (with or without "benefits") OR homosexual male friend (the more flamboyant and swishy the better)
Bostonia Rantida, as well as the rest of us, would love to see these MKA wannabes off Newbury Street - maybe taking off their bug-eye glasses and crushing them and watching their mascara track down their face and their pink frost lip gloss quivering along with their chin would be a sight to behold.
* Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen, the twins from Full House
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