The "We Hate Opposing Viewpoints" Doctrine

That's what the Fairness Doctrine really was about: For each point, there was a mandatory counterpoint in the green room, getting prepped by the producer. Then, in 1986, the Fairness Doctrine was scrapped, giving rise to such things as talk radio.

John Gibson: Those who want the Fairness Doctrine back into law will cut off a lot of its own noses to spite faces. Each time Bill Maher comes on, Ann Coulter must follow. For every Dixie Chick, a Tobey Keith, &c, &c. In other words, Hollywood, the movie industry, et. al. must become a defacto Fox News, fair and balanced and cannot rely on the polemic of one to stand while the response of the other is left unheard. (Hannity & Colmes are already a shoo in, no further parts required.)

Jon Keller: You might like all the roses in your garden, and find one rose rotting, but does that mean you put the flame-thrower to the entire rose garden? Jon puts the smackdown on a certain rotanes from Massachusetts whose $1.50 words contain zero nutritional value - sort of like cotton candy without the flavor or the teeth-rotting sugar.

Dennis Miller also gives his two cents: advertisers like the Mr. Roarke approach ("smiles, everybody!") to radio, rather than the Marge Simpson as a blue squirrel against Itchy 'n Scratchy ("don't do that! don't do that!") or the crazy nutball who thinks George Carlin talks about doomsday from the Ms Pac Man game at the bus terminal.

To us, bringing back the Fairness Doctrine represents a temper tantrum by spoiled brats, who desperately want to be heard, but the fed up parents are walking away. It's also about MONEY - those juicy advertising dollars that businesses put out for radio shows that work hard for it, not a bunch of slackers who paste together a whole buncha nothin' (or a whole bunch of horsehockey) and call it a show. The solution? Reminds us of the story of the man who deals with screaming and naughty children, whispers something into their ears, and everything magically stops and they walk away...when the shopkeeper asks how he did it, he said, "I threatened to give them the biggest spanking of their lives."

Pros and Cons of Providence, RI

Pro: Easily accessible from Boston by MBTA, as there is direct service. Secret: save yourself the $15.50 round trip ($18 via Amtrak) and take the Orange Line to Forest Hills, then either Route 32 or Route 50 to Hyde Park Station and pay $4.50 - savings a whopping $3.25. Going back, get off at Hyde Park and reverse route. Bonanza bus lines also offer fares for $14.95 round trip.

Con: Train often packed; sometimes trains make all stops between South Station and Providence; at night and on the weekends, you're at the mercy of
the vending machines, which feature 500ml of Poland Spring water at $2 a whack and stale packs of Doritos. (During the week, there's a nice souvenir shop selling Rhode Island-themed gifts and The Lot. More about that later.)

Pro: RIPTA is head and shoulders above the MBTA. The fare is the same ($1.50) but you can purchase an all-day ticket for the RIPTA trolley (covers the entire city, more or less) for $3.00. Buses are clean and drivers are polite and well-mannered. Passengers we met were not the ones staring us directly in the face with an invitation to fight.

Con: Kennedy Plaza. Ever want to experience what Times Square (or the South End during the Elevated era) was before Michael Eisner decided to gentrify it? Even though the entire plaza has been rebuilt - sort of like an open Harvard Square - and you can find the buses a lot more easily than the MBTA, it is an eye-opener for the dark side of Providence. Sleaze is one of the kinder words we could use, and a few years ago we went there and watched a full-blown brawl bust out, and 30-40 Providence Police vehicles arrived in less time that it takes to sneeze. The interior is...well, after three minutes of waiting for a donut while one of its "customers" described something in sickening detail, we left feeling super dirty. As long as you wait outside, Kennedy Plaza is OK. Otherwise, South Station Bus Terminal is the Taj Mahal. Kennedy Plaza is also an intercity bus stop for Greyhound and Bonanza/Peter Pan.

Pro: Thayer Street is a walker's dream. Brown University students, bohemians, punkers, and other residents are much friendlier and don't carry that "we're a famous Ivy League University" snitty tone. (No reference to a Cambridge-based university intended.) Brown University bookstore is neat and clean, and offers plenty for the voracious reader. CVS and Store 24 for the sundries and cheap eats, but many casual restaurants (and Starbucks, of course) and neat little shops.

Con: Thayer Street is located on College Hill, which has a hill than can be best described as one you don't dare trip on. Don't aggravate the Providence Fire Department, as they haven't had a contract after 1080 days (3 years, nearly). After the shops, Thayer Street becomes a plain vanilla residential area.

Pro: The Lot, Rhode Island's lottery. Games are much more fun to play and you don't feel as if you wait for an eternity while Fatso McScratchy orders up his fat little notebook of daily numbers and his daily ration of 60-70 instant tickets. (Disclosure: we played The Numbers and Powerball and didn't win a thing. However, we did win about $20 playing the instants, but put some of the money into other things...like lunch and fare home.) Unlike our Lottery, The Rhode Island Lottery has a $20 instant ticket you don't have to wait until the 4th of July to figure out if you've won.

Con: The Lot in Rhode Island isn't publicized as much, and the games could be a horror show for seasoned Mass Lottery fans who get the hives when they play Bingo or Cashword. Also, no trash pickers because there's no trash.

Control freaks at Johns Hopkins University

The worst type of control freak is one who is put out by the slightest millimeter of offense, and then proclaims numbers of "acts" to gain back forgiveness. These are the types of people who are so insecure, so afraid of incivility, so afraid to offend, that they display their fit of pique in a way the Marquis of Sade would implore them to stop.

Witness the self-flagellation and acts of Job that the professors of Johns Hopkins attempted to put through this student (advice: read thoroughly re: Baltimore, please!) before the public and FIRE* screamed blue murder.

The extreme overreaction at JH screams academic totalitarianism - more worthy of the Soviet Union than at a college that pledges "diversity, tolerance, and understanding." Not when those three are at the discretion of very narrow minds.

*the Foundation for Individual Rights in Education

Cursing to the Choir, middle school edition

Kids: if you're going to do Chris Rock monologues, find the clean and non-controversial ones, not the ones with abundant amounts of deleted expletives.

On the other hand, the girl who let loose with her Andrew Dice Clay rendition did a great service: since no one would listen to the complaints from teachers and other students about the choir teacher's litanies and tirades, what better place highlight your teacher's shortcomings than after a Rogers & Hart song!

Hey, it might cost you a ten day suspension and make you miss your graduation ceremony and party, but the best thing is that it forced some of these administrators with their hands on their ears to finally listen!

Smug Kills, Same Sex Marriage Edition

Jon Keller makes perfect sense when he says "don't gloat." Even Deval Patrick was eloquent enough to tell the crowd to dial the smug way down:

The folks on the other side of this question are still our brothers and sisters. And we need them tomorrow and the next day and the day after that if we are together going to confront and solve the challenges facing up economically or in the public schools or on broken roads and bridges and a health care system we are trying to reinvent and a whole list of other issues on which we must come together.

Agreed, Governor Patrick. The Michael Corleone maxim is "keep your friends close and your enemies closer." Or, you may need your enemies one day if you're in a real jam.

Just Plain Marriage, or Do You? Do You? Good, You're Married

We're going to take the Spaceballs (warning: some language naughty) approach to what happened on the same-sex marriage front:

Quote #1 refers to the group of people meeting Yogurt (Mel Brooks), the Yoda knockoff:

Princess Vespa: Yogurt, the wise.
Dot Matrix: Yogurt, the all-powerful.
Barf: Yogurt, the magnificent
Yogurt: Please, please, don't make a fuss. I'm just plain Yogurt.

We've watched what's been going on in this front, and we just shrug our shoulders. We don't care about who gets married, and that the genders in front of the altar don't matter. What we do care about is that marriage isn't an exercise to show how far it can be stretched and bent to fit the wills and whims of certain groups.

Jon Keller's explanation is very true: marriage means social stability, regardless of gender, and none of the horrors predicted by the pundits ever happened. Governor Patrick can take pride in defusing a political hot potato - even if he had to do a little "horse trading" to do so. The legislators, instead of indulging in antics befit for spoiled children, practiced real democracy and voted, rather than delaying it, canceling it, or adjourning it. The pols who promised their voters one thing and did another will get their comeuppance at the ballot box. Liberal newspapers will put the results in the editorial pages; talk radio will get their callers complaining or praising the decision. Life goes on, and it's truly

There was one glaring item: the most obnoxious and unnecessary aspect of this debate was the argument between the two opposing camps: the cacophony of shrill slogans, sound bites, blaringly colorful signs, and colorful versions of what might happen if one side wins and the other loses. More rational voices, such as the ones who might not like the hefty weight of marriage but feel more comfortable with a less binding but similarly official civil union, or men and women who are in common-law marriages, were left out in the debate. Giving ground from "the people have spoken" to "let all the people speak, and if necessary, vote" and "marriage is strictly between a man and a woman" "marriage is usually between a man and a woman, but in the interest of true civil rights, marriage between two men and two women are also acceptable."

Save for your future - unless you're poor, then you don't get any benefits

The Boston Globe (via the Consumerist) has an interesting article on how the poor are punished for saving money, either through the 401(k)/403(b) program or just by plain saving their paychecks.

Some pretty startling tidbits from the article:

"We're constantly told that we need to save early and often to prepare for retirement...[y]et government policies tell low-income families, 'If you save for the future, you won't get our help today.' "

"For example, the tax credit for saving for retirement is wiped away when the taxpayer also qualifies for the earned income tax credit."

"[E]ach $1 saved by a single mother earning $15,000 a year would cost [a person] $2.60 in higher taxes and lost government benefits."

"...[P]utting a few dollars aside in a retirement plan can disqualify families for food stamps, healthcare benefits, and assistance given to poor families with children."

"In Massachusetts, for example, anyone with assets of $2,500 or more is disqualified from receiving federal assistance to families with dependent children. That asset test includes retirement accounts and even the cash value of a life insurance policy...[a]s a result, a single parent with two children who earns $500 a month would lose $133 a month in benefits if the family saved more than a nominal amount for retirement."

Employers love to assert that not putting money into a retirement plan is like leaving "free money" on the table, in the form of employer matches. For the poor, taking that "free money" is poison, as it will reduce or end their government benefits immediately. Putting in even 1% of their paycheck towards retirement - $2 a week for the woman earning $15,000 a year, and with a company match of 100% - is enough to reduce their benefits by 26%. Even maintaining an emergency account for expenses is enough to cause benefits to cease.

Truly sickening.