Yes, character destruction HAS become a spectator sport

Thanks to the Internet and a 24-hour gossip culture, destroying character and lives has become a huge spectator sport.

Tyler Clementi didn't have to take his own life because his sexuality was not like others.  He could have taken the hard-core militant activist route, enlisting the hardest and most in-your-face groups like Queer Nation and ACT-UP to protest Rutgers 24-7, giving the nightly news cycle fresh meat for months upon end, and only after Rutgers acquiesed to their demands, the matter would have died down.  But Clementi didn't pursue that avenue, because he didn't want to bring attention to his sexuality and plight that his roommate was recording his trysts:  He ended up bringing attention to himself anyway by ending his life because he just couldn't take the ridicule anymore.

His roommate recorded the most private of his activities, and that alone merits the strongest punishment one can mete out, namely imprisonment and a very stiff fine.  But tangentially, others will feed off this unnecessary suicide for their own ends and desires.

In the coming days the pundits will pontificate, the politicians will politic and the advocates will advocate -- all trying to twist and turn the private hurts of Tyler into whatever fits their agenda.

And it isn't just gay teenagers that feel the ridicule and scorn of the mediocre.  If you're the wrong race, possess smarts that go beyond which dress to wear, which libation to drink, which social group to socialize with, you might as well be from Siberia.

I endured the same character-destroying ridicule all throughout Boston Latin Academy.  The eighties were a ripe time, fueled by teenage movies that emphasized being popular über alles and shifting those who didn't fit the grand scheme of cliquey things into a social Siberia.  It diminished, certainly as we all grew and headed towards our senior year, but it's the viciousness and disdain that still leaves fresh scars.  It's the reason I never went to either of my semi-formals, proms and none of my reunions.  It's the reason why I dumped 10-12 people off of my Facebook friends list when Phoebe Prince took her own life in February.

Solving the problem of bullying in all its forms is not simple.  Neither passive so-called "tolerance and understanding" nor reactionary zero tolerance is the answer.  The answer comes somewhere in the middle, beginning with the bullied standing up to their tormentors, parents making sure they monitor their children and getting involved when bullying starts, teachers intervening without retribution from their superiors, and administrators not hiding behind law and political correctness.