You know you're in Boston when...

...you know the radio ads for Giant Auto Glass, Tony Floriamo's, Powderhouse Mortgage, Cumberland Farms, and the lottery...

...Traffic is on the 3's (not the 1's in New York, 8's in Philadelphia, or 2's in Pittsburgh)

...the Back Bay Architectural Society tries to wield its Soviet-like muscle whenever someone tries to build something of value, like handicapped access or an Apple Store.

...you see a whole bunch of people being escorted away from church, but only because they've been squatting there to prevent it from closing...

...the St. Patrick's Day parade has its pronouncement from Whacko Hurley that gays will not march in the parade, but the gays say, "Irish will not march in our parade June 10..."

...the liberal broadsheet says X, the center-right tabloid says Y, the radical left tabloid says Z, and the satire-laden tabloid W mocks all three...

...when you mention you work for the city in Denver, but live outside of the city limits, you get a glazed over look similar to when Homer Simpson says, "Mmm...(insert food product here)..." (reason: city workers must reside in the city - can't live outside the city)

...when you mention you work for the city in Denver, but live in the city, in a two bedroom apartment for $500 per month, you hear, "holy crap, we just paid $2,000 for our closet-sized apartment, and the slumlord hasn't fixed our sink in weeks!"

...you know Denis Leary, Lenny Clarke, and Steve Sweeney's punchlines by heart, especially when they play at Dick Doherty's Comedy Vault/Hut/Barnyard...

...the best restaurants in Boston are independently owned and don't involve dancing rodents (human or otherwise), white trash, gangbangers in hoodies with their legs spread wider than the Mass Ave bridge, food items that double as car lubricants, etc...

...If you're a Montreal native, you know the Boston Cream Pie is a bigger, fluffier version of a May West, but when you want that nice smoked meat sandwich, you order a corned beef and pastrami, because a lot of Broons fans know a Hab fan when they hear one...

...you see the Marylou's ads and wish the Dunkin' Donuts servers can be gorgeous, competent, and appealing like they are...and speak clear and unaccented English...

...a silent hush comes over Boston colleges in the morning at 11am...because it's time for The Price Is Right...

...another silent hush comes over houses at 7:57pm weekdays and 6:58pm Sundays for the Daily Numbers drawing...